Chainmaille Octopus Hood: Eight Arms to Hold You

Posted on 30/04/2018 by Conner Flynn

If Octopi had been on land during medieval times, this is what they would have looked like. That’s a scary thought. King Arthur would have been replaced by King Octo and the Knights of the Drowned Table. Plus, Octo would have needed eight Excaliburs, one for each tentacle. But enough about what could have been. Let’s talk about something that does exist, and that is this chainmaille octopus hood.

This amazing thing is the work of Chicago-based artist, jewelry, and fashion designer Vanessa Walilko. It’s an aluminum chainmail octopus hood for humans to wear on their head. It even has shiny metal tentacles to drape around your body. Holy Cthulhu Batman! That is one creepy, but awesome piece of chainmaille.

Sadly, you can’t buy it, but you can learn how to make it yourself because Walilko wrote a book that’ll teach you how to make your own chainmaille wearables. It is called Chain Mail + Color. Can someone make me one of these, please?

[via Spoodoir]

NASA goes back to the middle ages for its rover tire design

Posted on 24/11/2017 by Engadget RSS Feed

The Mars Curiosity rover has been a big success, but NASA's modern tech couldn't save its tires from breaking down in the harsh conditions of Mars. For future missions, the agency has gone back to the age of knights. Based on the principals of chainm...

Chainmaille Wine Bottle Bag is Sir’s Favorite

Posted on 22/08/2015 by Shane McGlaun

The next time you need to take some wine over to a friends to watch Game of Thrones, you need to bring it in this bag. This is a chainmaille wine bag. I’m not sure why you need a wine bag, I presume it’s so your friends can’t see the label and know you spent $3.99 on a bottle of Ripple.

The woven metal bag measures 8″ tall and 3″ in diameter, and will fit on most regular size wine bottles. If you are the hardcore drunk that only goes for these giant wine bottles like they hang on the wall at Olive Garden, you are out of luck.

You can get your own chainmaille jacket of +3 drunkenness from ThinkGeek for $24.99(USD). I wonder if you chill the wine in this aluminum bag, if the cold of the metal would keep the wine cool longer outside the fridge.

Black Milk’s Latest Collection Looks More Protective Than It Is

Posted on 20/11/2014 by Stirling Matheson

Chainmaille looks cool and is very practical if someone is trying to slice you open with a sword. Luckily, that’s not a problem that most people face regularly face, but that leaves chainmaille as a very, very impractical material for daily wear. It’s heavy, makes loud noises when you move, and requires you to don a gambeson underneath to prevent chafing. Nobody likes chafing.

Black Milk, a company best known for making R2D2 one-piece swimsuits, is now offering a line of chainmaille-printed clothing. You can opt for one of two dresses, leggings, a skirt with suspenders, a pair of shorts, or a one-piece swimsuit. All the items are made from the same synthetic, stretch material that the company always uses, and I think it should do a very good job of protecting the wearer from (foam) swords, (Nerf brand) arrows, and (imaginary) halberds. My only problem is that I’m a dude, and none of this would be remotely attractive or acceptable on me.

[via Black Milk]

Chainmaille Necktie: for Knights of the Cubic Cubicle

Posted on 26/01/2014 by Lambert Varias

Defend yourself from sword strikes and shark bites in the office with Thinkgeek’s Chainmaille Mail Necktie. It’s made of anodized aluminum, so I guess it will offer some sort of protection from corporate get-togethers.

The funny thing is, it’s the necktie part that isn’t genuine. I think it’s more of a choker with a huge pendant.

Ride to ThinkGeek and get the Chainmaille Necktie for $30 (USD). I’ll wait for the plate necktie.

Protect Your Booze: Boiled Leather and Chainmail Beer Koozie

Posted on 04/04/2013 by Hazel Chua

Beer Armor Koozie

Somewhere out there is a psycho who’s waiting in the wings, waiting for the moment when you’ll leave your booze unguarded. Don’t give him or her a chance to stab your can of booze and cause death by leakage; keep your beer by your side and cover it up in this boiled leather and chainmail beer koozie at all times for maximum protection.

So that’s an extremely improbable scenario, but hey, it could happen. The koozie was put together by DougFungus, who believes that beer cans should be provided with ample security. It won’t prevent people from stealing your beer, though.

VIA [ Obvious Winner ]

Leather and Chainmail Beer Koozie: Armor for Your Altbier

Posted on 02/04/2013 by Conner Flynn

Beer is a real man’s drink. That’s why it comes in a can or a glass. It would come in a suit of armor if it were practical to manufacture it that way. But since it’s not, Dougfungus has done it for us. This beer koozie protects your beer from more than just warmth.

chainmail beer koozie

With this leather and chainmail armor, beer can stand up to a small sword or axe, maybe even an arrow or two, while it fights back with great taste and scores a critical hit to your sobriety.

Forget those stupid foam beer koozies. This is a man’s koozie for medieval mead. Great work, Dougfungus.

[via Obvious Winner]

Gost Barefoots Lets You Go Sort-of Barefoot the Medieval Way

Posted on 04/01/2013 by Hazel Chua

PaleoBarefoots

Some are stuffy, some are painful to wear, and others look downright atrocious. I’m talking about shoes–and if you haven’t found the pair that’s right for you, then you’re in for a lot more pain down the line. Going barefoot isn’t really an option, either. Can you imagine walking on the pavement on a scorching afternoon? That would be torture.

So why don’t you go semi-barefoot instead with Gost Barefoots’ chainmail foot sleeves? Gost’s managing director Jörg Peitzker explained that the shoes push the belief that man is supposed to interact with nature without being impeded by shoes. What they did was strip away the material and all the frills that modern-day shoes had and replaced them with chainmail.

PaleoBarefoots

These look painful to wear, but they will allow you to feel the surface of what you’re walking on, as well as the temperature and humidity level. While they’ll definitely protect your feet from huge rocks and sharp objects, I’m not sure how much protection these will give you for teeny tiny shards of glass and other pointy objects.

Gost Barefoots’ chainmail shoes are available in a variety of styles, with prices starting at €178 (about $235).

[ Product Page ] VIA [ Gizmag ]

Chainmail Beer Stein: Pour Me a Flagon of Mead!

Posted on 03/12/2012 by Conner Flynn

If you are looking for a new mug or stein to drink beer from while you watch Game of Thrones, here it is. This is a stein that Eddard Stark or Jamie Lannister would be proud to gulp their mead from. It is made entirely from chainmail.
chainmail beer stein
You have to be a big tough guy to drink from this since it weighs about 5lbs. and stands 7.5 inches-tall. Every drinking session will be like a workout with this thing. And yes, since it is made of chainmail, your beverage is just going to leak as fast as you pour it in. Though you could just put a pint glass inside of it to solve that minor design flaw.

Besides, it looks great just as a decoration.