Medieval Chain Mail Shirt And Coif: Squire, Ready My Mount!

Battle: it can come at you in the blink of an eye. So why not be prepared for combat with this medieval chain mail shirt and coif available from the Medieval Warrior Store on Amazon (affiliate link). The original under armor is waist length and comes in three sizes: medium ($70), large ($90), and X-large ($100). Obviously, I plan on wearing all three sizes on top of each other for maximum protection.

I just bought an x-large because I don’t really have the funds to buy one of each size, but I’m wondering if it will really be able to withstand a sword attack. I’ve got the sneaking suspicious it might not, but I also have the sneaking suspicion that after one too many beers this weekend I’ll know for sure.

Could you imagine wearing this and actually besting a dragon and rescuing a beautiful princess from its clutches? I daydream about it often, but it always ends with my wife riding that same dragon to chase me down and burn me alive with its fire breath. C’est la vie.

[via ThisIsWhyImBroke]

Chain Mail Dice Bag Adds +5 Protection

One of the things that goes along with a spirited game of Dungeons & Dragons is a bunch of dice. Sometimes a DM needs to protect said dice from the minions he is lording his power over during a game. I’ve been involved in some rather “spirited” games before and it wasn’t at all uncommon for a 20-sided die to get hurled at someone’s testes. Be on your guard.

If you want to protect your dice, and thereby protect your parts from hurled objects this chain mail and rubber gaming dice bag is the ticket. The bag is sized to hold 2 to 3 dozen polyhedral dice, depending on their shapes and sizes. It’s made from rubber and aluminum rings, and closes with a fake leather cord. It measures 5″ tall and has an 8″ opening to let your Cheetos stained fingers inside with ease.

ThinkGeek offers the bag for $12.99.

Chainmaille Octopus Hood: Eight Arms to Hold You

If Octopi had been on land during medieval times, this is what they would have looked like. That’s a scary thought. King Arthur would have been replaced by King Octo and the Knights of the Drowned Table. Plus, Octo would have needed eight Excaliburs, one for each tentacle. But enough about what could have been. Let’s talk about something that does exist, and that is this chainmaille octopus hood.

This amazing thing is the work of Chicago-based artist, jewelry, and fashion designer Vanessa Walilko. It’s an aluminum chainmail octopus hood for humans to wear on their head. It even has shiny metal tentacles to drape around your body.  Holy Cthulhu Batman! That is one creepy, but awesome piece of chainmaille.


Sadly, you can’t buy it, but you can learn how to make it yourself because Walilko wrote a book that’ll teach you how to make your own chainmaille wearables. It is called Chain Mail + Color. Can someone make me one of these, please?

[via Spoodoir]

Black Milk’s Latest Collection Looks More Protective Than It Is

Chainmaille looks cool and is very practical if someone is trying to slice you open with a sword. Luckily, that’s not a problem that most people face regularly face, but that leaves chainmaille as a very, very impractical material for daily wear. It’s heavy, makes loud noises when you move, and requires you to don a gambeson underneath to prevent chafing. Nobody likes chafing.

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Black Milk, a company best known for making R2D2 one-piece swimsuits, is now offering a line of chainmaille-printed clothing. You can opt for one of two dresses, leggings, a skirt with suspenders, a pair of shorts, or a one-piece swimsuit. All the items are made from the same synthetic, stretch material that the company always uses, and I think it should do a very good job of protecting the wearer from (foam) swords, (Nerf brand) arrows, and (imaginary) halberds. My only problem is that I’m a dude, and none of this would be remotely attractive or acceptable on me.

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[via Black Milk]

Molecular Chainmaille Could Be The Lightest and Strongest Armor Ever

Chainmaille, for the most part, exists in only two forms in modern society: as geeky jewelry made in college dorm rooms and as an entry on an RPG character sheet. The main reason for this is that while chainmaille is great at preventing edged weapons from getting to a wearer’s skin, it’s not that great against bullets. Hence one of the reasons why the British SAS doesn’t look like this:

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The other reason is competency. Regardless, in the near future the SAS might have a bit more in common with the above knights. The reason is the “Star of David molecule,” which was recently developed by scientists at the University of Manchester. The idea was inspired by viruses’ shells, which are made of woven protein strands and offer good protection with very little weight. For the last 25 years this team has been trying to weave molecules together and this creation, made of two triangular molecules interwoven, is the first major success. Of course, two infinitesimally tiny triangles aren’t going to protect your neck from a very ill-tempered rabbit, but the team is now working on creating a repeating pattern of interwoven molecules based on this new discovery.

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[via The Washington Post]

Chainmaille Chess Set Still Won’t Protect Your King

Do you think you are a badass at chess? No, you are not. Not until you play the game the way it was played in medieval times: using a chainmaille chess set while wearing a suit of armor. Well, I’m just guessing that was the way they played the game. This way if your opponent was a sore loser, you were protected from his sword or axe.
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This cool set was made by David Gutenkauf, a craftsman who specializes in the creation of chainmaille. He crafted this set from woven steel and bronze. The board is about 12″ square and it weighs in at a hefty three pounds. Each piece is wrapped around a glass marble for stability, and the kings about two inches-tall.

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It’s a nice looking set to take to the Renaissance fair with you. You’ll be king of nerd mountain for the day. It’s going for $750(USD) over on Etsy.

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[via Nerd Bastards via Neatorama]