Green Bean, Corn, and Carrot-flavored Hard Candies: Be Sure to Eat Your Veggies

Because apparently there’s a market for absolutely everything, Archie McPhee has created these hard candies that taste like vegetables. A 2.5-ounce tin will set you back $5 and contains a mix of green bean, corn, and carrot flavored candies. Can anybody else feel their lunch rising in their throat?

These would be perfect to set out on your coffee table and wait to see a friend’s reaction when they eat one. They would also be perfect to hand out on Halloween, although you won’t get to see the reactions of the children when they eat them unless they’re your own children, in which case I say go for it – it’s never too early to start developing those trust issues.

Apparently, the flavors are so realistic that “they’ll freak out your mouth.” Now I don’t know about you, but I don’t want my mouth freaked out any more than it already is. That said, if my mom agrees I can have dessert if I eat these in place of my actual vegetables I will swallow them whole, wrappers and all.

A Realistic Mutated Monster Toad Cake

Here’s some more next-level cake decorating from Natalie Sideserf of Sideserf Cake Studio. The professional pastry chef in Austin, Texas made a video showing how she made this realistic mutant monster toad cake. The toad was inspired by one of the creatures in the recently released post-apocalyptic Love And Monsters movie. Mmmm, save some warts for me.

I think my favorite things about the cake are the little teeth and all the frog slobber. Those are the kinds of details that really sell the illusion of a real mutant monster toad. Plus, okay, I don’t think any of us have ever actually seen a real mutant monster toad before, but I think we can all agree there’s definitely going to be teeth and slobber.

So, you’re wandering through the forest minding your own business when this thing hops up beside you and tells you it’s really a prince or princess in disguise and if you kiss it, it’ll reveal it’s true identity and you two can live happily ever after – what do you do? If you answered grab it and take your new talking frog show on the road, congratulations, we’re gonna be rich!

Otterbox made a ‘bacteria-killing’ screen protector for your phone

Face it, your phone screen is filthy. Think about all those times you texted from the toilet or scrolled through Instagram while riding the subway -- those streaks on your screen aren't just schmutz, they're breeding grounds for bacteria. But that's...

The Hangrees Poop Culture Figures Are the Wacky Packages of Poop

The Hangrees are a joyfully tasteless series of slime collectible, plop culture parody figures that are hungry for punny, satirical snacks. Just feed ‘em, shake ‘em, and excrete ‘em for slimy, poop-tastic results. Once the dookie has dropped, the slime can be stored in a resealable container for reuse.

Nine characters in Series 1 made their debut August 2, 2019: Harry Plopper, Ninja Turdle, Chewcaca, Fartnite, 5 Nights of Farts, WWPee Wrestler, Cacacraft, and Roplops, plus a rare “chrome” character. They’re available for $10 each from Walmart or Amazon.

Dr. Pimple Popper’s Pimple Pete Game: A Pus-itively Gross Game for Kids

Hello, pimple poppers. Do you want a new game where you play with zits? Of course, you do you nasty thing. Well, you are in luck. The Pimple Pete Game Presented by Dr. Pimple Popper is all about popping pimples.

If that sounds like fun to you, Spin Master’s nasty game lets you pop pimples with your family and friends. Pimple Pete has a face that only a dermatologist would love. Each player spins the arrow, then chooses a squishy pimple to “pop” on the area indicated. The goal is to get the “pimple” out without triggering the Mega-Zit filled nose, which is filled with water (though I suppose you could fill it with something nastier.) So you are either going to get a zit or a squirt. Who is entertained by this?

The game is described as “a little ‘yuck’ factor with a lot of fun factor” and “some gross-out fun”. If you say so. Remember when games used to be fun instead of gross? If you want some pimply fun in your game night, you can find the game on Amazon for less than 10 bucks.

 

 

WTF Prank Candles Go from Yummm to Ewwwww

Candles are good because they make your room smell nice… and because fire. But if you want to mess with people who like candles, you might want to get some of these to give your friends at the office Christmas party that will be here before you know it.

These prank candles start out smelling nice, and then as they melt they go straight to stank. The candles come in Cereal Killer and Mountain Doo Doo scents. Cereal Killer starts out smelling like that sweet glory that is breakfast cereal and then goes to stinky breath scent.

Mountain Doo Doo starts smelling like a highly caffeinated soda and then goes to a nasty body odor scent. The scent transition happens after a few hours of burning. The downside is if you give it in the box, it says clearly it is a prank candle, so consider taking it out before you give these to your Secret Santa recipient. Each candle will cost you $12.99 (and a friendship) at ThinkGeek.

Play-Doh Drops a Deuce with Their Poop Emoji Playset

So this is where we are in the 21st century. No flying car in the garage, no robot serving me beer at home, no transporter beams… and now we have a toy that teaches our kids to play with poop. This is the world we live in, folks. This new toy is called the Play-Doh Poop Troop playset, and it’s the sh*t.

For $14.99, kids get twelve cans of Play-Doh, and four of them are brown naturally. It also comes with over 50 accessories so you can dress your Play-Doh poop up Mr. Potato Head style. According to the photo, there’s a dog turd too. How long until this is normalized so much that kids start playing with real poop?

Actually, I want to get in on this poop toy action. I’m going to market a new line of poop-themed toys under the brand “E. coli”. Our first product is a fast-paced board game called “Dire-Rhea.” Should be a real floater for our company, but you never know, it may just stink. We have new products every Turds-day.

Come on guys, don’t let your kids play with poop, fake or otherwise. It’s called dignity. Let them have some.

[via Boing Boing via Geekologie]