Gigantic Magic 8 Ball Still Won’t Tell You What You Want to Hear

When I was a kid, I went through my share of those Magic 8 Ball toys. I think I ended up cracking open three or four of them to see what they looked like inside, and what the heck that dark liquid was that made the fortune thing float around. I just ended up making a mess of things, and everything ended up in the trash can. Why couldn’t it have predicted that, and told me my fortune with something like “You will destroy your Magic 8 Ball, and Mom won’t buy you another one this time.

I can only imagine the mess I would have made if I were given one of these giant-sized Magic 8 Balls as a child.

This larger-than-life version of the fortune teller ball measures a whopping 10″ in diameter – about 2.5 times larger than the standard model. It’s still filled with that disgusting blue dye, and a 20-sided die bobbling about with such vague advice as “Reply Hazy Try Again,” “Ask Again Later,” and “Better Not Tell You Now.” Gee thanks, that was sooooo helpful. I think I’ll get the hammer out and crack you open so your guts spill everywhere… stupid 8 Ball.

If you like your balls big, and your fortunes frustrating, head over to ThinkGeek now, where you can grab the Giant Magic 8 Ball for $25.

Bigfoot Air Freshener Doesn’t Actually Smell Like Sasquatch

If you’ve ever encountered a sasquatch, you know how rancid and rank all that damp fur can get. What you need to do next time you see one is hang one of these Bigfoot air fresheners around his neck to try and cover up his odiferous ways. Now you have a bigfoot that smells like wet dog, old cheese stuck in his beard, AND pine! Problem solved!

What’s that you say? You haven’t been able to find bigfoot? Then buy one of these and hang it on your rearview mirror. Your car could use a freshening now that the new car scent has worn off and you’ve dropped a supersize quantity of french fries into the edge of your seat over the years. Grab one today from Archie McPhee for just $3.50 and stop stinking up the place!

Cryptocurrency Ugly Sweaters Are Already Worth Double What You Paid for Them

One of the biggest buzzwords in finance and investing these days is “cryptocurrency.” These tiny packets of computer-signed, highly-secure, and highly-elusive data represent value, and are trading at ever more insane rates of exchange due to their rarity. Think of it as a modern-day gold rush, with cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin surging to more than 17 times their value 12 months ago. Of course, their value could drop just as rapidly as they increase, and the process of selling and trading can take days, so it’s a risky game to play with money you can’t afford to lose. That said, these cryptocurrency sweaters shouldn’t have the same type of insane valuation shifts.

The guys at HODLMOON are making a series of ugly holiday sweaters, inspired by well-known cryptocurrencies, and they’re actually pretty awesome. They’re showing off their knit sweaters in Bitcoin, Ethereum, and Litecoin designs, as well as some of the lesser-known monetary units like Monero, Neo, and Polymath. Each one features the currency’s logo, along with its financial symbol stitched in like snowflakes.

They’re available in sizes Small through 3XL, and made from 100% acrylic. Best of all, they’re just $59.99 US Dollars each, which is like 0.003509 of a Bitcoin at today’s exchange rate. So how can you afford not to buy one?!?!? It’s a sure thing!

[via @TaylorLorenz via Laughing Squid]

Mr. Meeseeks Mug Is Here to Serve You (Coffee)

I’m Mr. Meeseeks, look at me!!! I think we could all use a Mr. Meeseeks box in our lives. After all, the idea of a personal assistant willing to do whatever you ask it to do is pretty cool. Of course, that’s not exactly how things turned out with Beth, Summer, Jerry and their Meeseeks, but I swear, I’d only ask mine to do things like buy groceries, do the laundry, or maybe fix me a cup of coffee.

This Meeseeks Box mug is ready to perform that task whenever you desire. Simply open the lid, fill it with up to 20 ounces of coffee, and the Mr. Meeseeks inside will make sure it stays hot and delicious until you finish drinking it. Then he should cease to exist until you push the button once again.

It’s the perfect gift for any Rick and Morty fan, and it’s just $19.99 over at ThinkGeek. Just don’t keep pressing the button and asking Mr. Meeseeks to solve your relationship problems.

This Cutter Turns Sandwiches into Tetris Pieces

Your mom always told you to stop playing with your food, but I’m here to encourage the exact opposite. You only live once, so why not have fun whenever the mood strikes? For instance, the next time you make a sandwich, go ahead and play some Tetris at the same time. You have my permission.

The guys at Fred have got you all set with their Bites and Pieces sandwich cutter. Simply set this plastic cutter atop your PB&J or any other regular sandwich, push down, et voilà… edible Tetris blocks! Of course, once you start eating these, I’m not sure how to stack them in your stomach. Let them pile up too much, and it’ll be Game Over for sure. But arrange them just right in your gut, and you’ll digest them, one line at at a time.

Like the idea? Then hum a little Russian tune, and select “A-TYPE” over on the Fred website, where you can grab the Bites and Pieces sandwich cutter for just $10.

Sushi Stacker is Like Jenga, but with Raw Fish and Chopsticks

Do you like to play Jenga? How about spicy tuna and wasabi? Well, have I got something for you! Sushi Stacker is a fun new tabletop stacking game that comes with planks that look like sushi instead of blocks of wood.

While you can play the game just like Jenga, the set comes with ideas for nine different games, including some that include picking up the pieces with chopsticks, playing Shogi, using them as dominoes, and some sort of Russian roulette game that I don’t quite understand. But even if you just use these to play sushi Jenga, they should offer plenty of fun.

The set includes 48 sushi pieces – six pieces each in eight different styles, as well as pair of chopsticks. Sushi Stacker is available exclusively from Firebox at the moment, where you can grab it for $40. You could easily spend that much on a raw fish dinner, and it won’t last nearly as long.

Solar-powered Edison Light Is a Bright Idea

Celebrate one of the world’s greatest inventors with Kikkerland’s desktop sculpture of Thomas Alva Edison. Not only does it look like man behind some of the earliest electrical inventions, but it actually lights up too.

Tiny Edison stands there on your desk, light bulb in hand, ready to provide a splash of accent light to your space. The bulb gets its power from a solar panel on Edison’s back, but the way he’s holding the bulb in his hand actually reminds me of some of rival Nikola Tesla’s wireless electricity experiments. On the other hand, this 7″ tall dude runs on DC power – which Edison championed, rather than Tesla’s AC system.

No matter who you stood with in the Current War, you’ll be a winner with Tiny Edison lighting up your desk. You can grab one now over at Amazon for $25. Oh and speaking of Edison vs. Tesla, I couldn’t help but post this…

Thor’s Hammer Tool Set: Mjolnir for Mechanics

Thor’s mighty hammer is pretty damned powerful in the right hands. But it can’t fix everything. What you need is something more versatile, like this special version that packs a complete tool kit inside.

It may look like Mjolnir from the outside, but when you set it down and pop it open, it packs a 44-piece tool set inside. You’ll get all the tools you need to be a repair superhero, including a socket set, screwdrivers, wrenches, a knife, level, pliers, tape measure, and more. Plus the big hammer’s handle doubles as the handle of an actual 13 oz. claw hammer.

The whole package makes a great gift for any handy person or Marvel fan, and is available from ThinkGeek now for $99.99. You are worthy!

Justice League Nesting Dolls: Flash Is Fast, Flash Is Cool, Flash Is Tiny

Justice League hits theaters this Friday, and while it sounds like it’s far from perfect, early reviews are that it’s a step in the right direction for the dark and dreary Snyder-verse take on DC Comics’ superheroes. I sure hope it has more humor than Batman v. Superman. I felt like I needed to knock back a couple of Prozac after watching that one.

For me, the Justice League was a lighthearted Saturday morning cartoon back during my childhood, so there’s a pretty dramatic divide between those two worlds for me. If you prefer the bright and colorful cartoon version of the Justice League, then check out these fun collectibles that recently turned up at ThinkGeek.

This set of Russian-style nesting dolls includes likenesses of the five original members of the Justice League: Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, and The Flash, with sizes ranging from 6″ tall down to 1-3/4″ tall. I guess their sizes sort of correspond to their popularity in the DC universe, though I was always more of a Batman guy than a Superman guy. Regardless, it’s a fun addition to any toy collection, and barely takes up any space when they’re all stacked inside of each other.

You can grab the set over at ThinkGeek for just $25, which is cheaper than a ticket to the theater with popcorn and a drink these days.

NES Controller Pool Float: Press “Start” to Swim

It’s getting a bit too cold here in Chicago to even think about going for a swim, but I’m pretty sure lots of us will be heading to warmer points South this winter for vacation. And if you’re going somewhere with a swimming pool, you’ll want to bring a pool float. It’s dangerous to float alone. Take this.

There are lots of cool pool floats out there, but they often sacrifice utility and comfort for their design, with strange and awkward shapes like bananas or poop emoji. On the other hand, this pool float takes advantage of the rectangular shape of the classic NES controller. Sure, it wasn’t the most ergonomic shape for a gamepad, but it makes a great floating mattress. Plus, it looks cool doing it.

If you’re a Nintendo fan, you must have one of these the next time you hit the pool.  It’s just $24.99 over at Craziest Gadgets. Now if only they made this Super Mario swim suit for adults…