Own Your Own Giant 44″ LED Wall Clock

Seen in school gymnasiums the world over, this giant digital wall clock is the perfect addition to an aging parent’s home to accompany their large-button television remote and home telephone. Available from BigTimeClocks (and I thought you had to be a public school system to buy these!), the clock measures a very respectable 44″W x 26″H, with 15″ tall numbers, so even grandma should be able to read it with minimal squinting.

I remember in middle school, every classroom had a clock just like this (albeit smaller) above the blackboard. I always stared at it, wondering why the minutes went by so slowly. I was convinced they actually slowed the clocks in school to torture me more. I’m still not convinced they didn’t.

Why do you need a giant digital clock that you can read from 350 feet away? Beats me, but it’s available, so better to buy now and figure out a use for it later. That’s my motto. That’s also why I have a garage full of products I don’t use and probably shouldn’t have bought.

Own Your Own Massive 32′ x 16′ Above-Ground Pool

Summer is coming, and you know what that means – I guess the opposite of whatever they meant in Game of Thrones. And what better way to enjoy the warm weather than with a massive 32′ x 16′ x 4’4″ above-ground pool? After all, digging a giant hole would take time and muscles – neither of which I have.

Available on Amazon for the low, low price of $3,300 (affiliate link), the pool holds an impressive 14,364 gallons when filled to 90% capacity and includes a 2,800 gallons/hour sand filter pump system to keep the water clean. I hate that I even have to mention this, but you still shouldn’t pee in it, just so we’re clear.

So, are you buying one of these and inviting me over for a pool party or what? I’ll even bring my own water wings AND help you fill up the pool with your neighbor’s hose. Think of all the fun we’ll have! There will be a lifeguard on duty though, right? Because I might panic and forget I can just stand up.

[via DudeIWantThat]