Thee-Eyed Goat Ouija Board Is Demon-Summoning Ready

Laser carved with an original design created by Denver artist Matt Verges, this three-eyed goat Ouija board is just the thing you need to finally make contact with the demon world. Presumably, in an attempt to have them do your bidding, only to be tricked and your soul enslaved for all eternity. Trust me; I have regrets.

Available from Matt’s Etsy store for $230, the 12″ x 18″ x 0.5″ board is made from ash wood and includes an equally detailed planchette (pointer), so you can actually understand what the demons are trying to tell you. Rest assured, I happen to know they’re quite familiar with the English language. I… have regrets. Did I say that already?

I remember growing up, my best friend had a Ouija board, and we’d play with it late at night during sleepovers. Now, looking back, I have to laugh to not cry at how foolish we were, wielding such incredibly dark power so willy-nilly from the comfort of our blanket fort. Honestly, I feel it’s terribly irresponsible of Hasbro to even sell Ouija boards to anyone who isn’t at least 400 years and/or an undead warlock looking to finally escape the mortal realm.

[via The Awesomer]

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