Glowing Ceramic Tardigrade Night Light

Tardigrades (aka water bears) are some of the most resilient animals on earth, able to survive even the harshest conditions, from extreme heat and cold, to air and food deprivation, to radiation. They’re practically unkillable, so what better animal to keep a watchful eye over you at night than this $16 Tardigrade Night Night from Archie McPhee? Sure, its mouth looks like a nightmare, but that will keep all the other monsters away.

Measuring 4-1/8″ x 2-1/4″, the night light is a traditional ceramic white when not in use but glows a phosphorescent green when turned on (powered by two LR44 batteries, included). Of course, being over four inches long, it’s significantly larger than actual tardigrades, which top out at around 0.5mm full grown. Those are some tiny bears! I still wouldn’t poke one, though, just for the record.

This kind of reminds me of those light-up Hasbro Glo Worm plushies from the ’80s. I think I might still have mine in a box in the basement somewhere. Just don’t listen to my wife if she tries to tell me it’s not in a box because I sleep with it every night. She’s lying. The same goes for whatever she says about my blankie.

Formula 1 and NASCAR Look Out, It’s Time for Racing Tardigrades

I’ve watched lots of car races over the years. I’ve driven on race tracks and dragstrips, and have even been in a stock car at about 170 mph. But you know what I haven’t experienced yet? Tardigrade racing. These tiny creatures are known for their resiliency, so they’re unlikely to get injured in a crash, making them perfect for high-speed action.

These pull-back tardigrades come in a set of four so you can race up to three of your friends to see who has the fastest time in a drag race. I’m going with the bright blue one, mostly because it looks like Swedish Racing Green to me. Now, as far as I know, tardigrades are so tiny that you need a microscope to see them, so the guys at Archie McPhee decided to scale theirs up to 2-3/4″ long so they’re visible to the naked eye. Hey, put some clothes on that eyeball!

The full set goes for just $14.95 and would be lots of fun to race against some babies, possums, or cockroaches. Place your bets now!

Stress Tardigrade Can Handle Whatever You Can Dish Out

Tardigrades are one of the strangest creatures known to exist. These microscopic organisms – also known lovingly as “water bears” are best known for their incredible ability to survive just about anything. Apparently, they can survive extreme temperatures, complete dehydration, and even the vacuum of space. How scientists have tested these capabilities, I don’t know, but what I do know is that tardigrades are awesome. Or at least Star Trek: Discovery told me so.

Knowing that tardigrades can take whatever you can dish out, it only makes sense to turn one into a squishy stress relief toy.

In fact, Archie McPhee’s Stress Tardigrade is labeled “extra squishy,” something I’d like to see on more product packaging. Basically, it’s a 4-1/2″ long foam model of the impervious little critter designed to help keep you from going postal at the office. I only ask that for every time that you squeeze him, poke him, or prod him, that you give him a little pet on the back or a tickle under the chin. After all, he’s absorbing all of your stress, and he doesn’t have to do that.

And now, sit back, relax, and watch the wonder of the Stress Tardigrade as he works his magic:

If you need a tardigrade to take away your stress, you can grab one over at Archie McPhee now for $7.50.