Handheld Oregon Trail Game on Sale at Target: Discount Dysentery

I have played a lot of video games in my day, and none have made me rage quit as much as The Oregon Trail did back in elementary school. It was impossible to not die from dysentery. Not one single kid in my school ever survived literally shitting themselves to death in that bastard of a game.

If you feel like dying of dysentery anywhere you may be, consider the The Oregon Trail handheld game. Usually, the game is about $25, which is more than I am willing to pay for being frustrated. However, Target has the game on sale right now for $10. That’s about a cheap as digital dysentery will get.

Pick one up while the sale lasts. If you win, be sure you brag on your favorite social media.

The Oregon Trail Gets a Dedicated Handheld Edition

Hey, kids! Now you can die of dysentery any time and any place! Thanks to Basic Fun, we now have a handheld version of Brøderbund’s classic 1980s survival simulation game, The Oregon Trail. The handheld version features a case and buttons inspired by the beige cases of 1980s computers, and offers up a complete version of the game you can play anywhere you’d like.

According to the video review by Lazy Game Reviews below, Basic Fun seems to have installed a custom version of the game with unique graphics optimized for the tiny screen, so if you were looking for an emulated version of the Apple II original, you’ll be disappointed. That said, it looks like the game plays very well, sounds and looks good, and with just a couple of minor exceptions, the minimal keyboard control scheme works well.

So next time you take a road trip from Missouri to Oregon, you can follow along and play en route. The Oregon Trail Handheld Game is available now over on Amazon, or you can grab it for $5 less from Target.

[via TechEBlog]

The Oregon Trail Card Game: You Have Rolled the Die of Dysentery

I spent so many hours playing The Oregon Trail back in the day. Regardless, I always, always died of dysentery. In fact, I don’t think anyone in the history of 6th grade beat that game. If you feel like getting dysentery in the form of a card game rather than an old and pixelated video game, you now can.

oregon-trail-1zoom in

A card game version of the classic game has turned up at Target and it looks pretty cool. The game comes with 58 trail cards, 32 calamity cards, 26 supply cards, a laminated wagon party roster, erasable marker, and a die. The die is the physical embodiment of deadly diarrhea.

oregon-trail-2zoom in

Check out the video to see how the game is played – basically, the objective is to help get one of the players at the table from Missouri to Oregon without dying. It looks really cool and probably as hard to beat as the old video game.

[via Gizmodo]