Realistic Eyeball Toenail Art: Toeballs

Because this is the internet and the internet is full of unholy abominations, nail artist Tahvya of Nailedbytav created this realistic eyeball toenail art. I don’t know about you, but that’s probably the last thing I’d want to see when taking my wife’s socks off. Although, knowing her, she’ll probably get them anyways just to scare me. And that will be the last time I ever take off her socks when she asks.

Tav painted each nail by hand and says the whole ten-toeball pedicure took about three hours. I only hope a telemarketer called during that time, and Tav told them she can’t talk now; she’s painting eyeballs on toenails. Because in my mind, that happened, and it was glorious.

So was this part of an elaborate Halloween costume or what? I hope so, but it looks like Tav posted the toe eyeballs in May, so I don’t think that’s the case. And I don’t know about you, but the thought of somebody walking around in sandals with toeballs in May instead of October gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Squatty Slides Footwear Turn Every Toilet Into a Squatty Potty

Created by Matty Benedetto of Unnecessary Inventions, Squatty Slides are a pair of footwear with extendable bases to raise your legs into the optimal position for taking care of business. And by taking care of business, I mean pooping, just to be clear. Probably too clear. My guess is you already knew what I was talking about.

The Squatty Slides feature a compartment on the bottom that opens, extending the platforms, and, after twisting them to lock into place, are ready for action. Hopefully not any crazy action, though. Hopefully just some healthy, regular action thanks to a well-rounded diet and not Taco Bell for lunch AND dinner.

Are Squatty Slides practical for regular wear? Probably not, considering they appear to be made of hard, 3D-printed plastic. I guess you could wear them around the house, though, but then why wouldn’t you just put an actual Squatty Potty in the bathroom? Maybe this is where the ‘unnecessary’ in Unnecessary Inventions comes from.

[via Neatorama]

Human Face Baseball Cap: An Extra Face for Your Head

There are certainly some wild and crazy products to be found and impulsively purchased on Etsy. Case in point, this Human Face Baseball Cap crafted and sold by Sabri Tunca of Feltthink. Even reading ‘Human Face Baseball Cap,’ it’s somehow even more terrifying than I had imagined. I have to hand it to Sabri, I’m not surprised that easily.

The $168 felted Face Hat is made from 100% natural merino wool dyed by Sabri, who uses traditional wet felting and needle felting techniques to create the hats. Each is made to order in the size requested, so you don’t have to worry about getting a face too big for your head. That’s a relief.

You’ll definitely spend some time on the Jumbotron if you wear this to a baseball game, which is exactly what I plan on doing. Plus wearing a t-shirt with my company logo and contact information for some free advertising. Am I a marketing genius? I’d like to think so, at least if I can manage not to wear my shirt inside-out this time.

[via DudeIWantThat]

Skeleton Lovers Inflatable Halloween Yard Decoration: Deathly Afternoon Delight

Perfect for my annual risque Halloween party, this Skeleton Couple inflatable decoration (affiliate link) features two skeletons apparently engaged in some boning of their own. My my! As far as sexy Halloween decorations go, this is certainly up there. Way up there. Possibly at the very top.

The couple measures 5.5′ tall, 4.5′ wide, and 6′ long, making it even larger than real life. Of course, if anybody from your homeowner’s association says they think it’s inappropriate, you can tell them to get their mind out of the gutter and that the couple is simply embracing. They’re totally doing it, though, at least in my mind.

What’s next, inflatable zombie and vampire couples getting it on? We can only hope. And by we, I mean me because I don’t want to be presumptuous and assume you have the same refined taste in Halloween yard decorations that I do. I hope you do, though, and I wish that we were neighbors.

[via DudeIWantThat]

Lay’s Potato Chips Creates Finger-Washing Machine to Clean Oily Fingers

Potato chip giant Lay’s has created the Finger Washer, a tiny USB-C chargeable device that cleans your fingers after eating chips to keep them oil free. I like how it looks like a little washing machine; that was a nice touch. Me? I never actually touch the chips with my fingers; I just tilt the bag into my mouth. And I guarantee Cookie Monster would do the same thing if he were into chips instead of cookies.

The machine measures 15 cm x 11 cm (6″ x 4.3″) and sprays an ultra-fine mist of atomized alcohol inside when a finger is detected. Although I doubt it can differentiate between a finger and anything else, so don’t get any ideas. Unfortunately for anybody seriously interested in one, only five are being made, and they’re all being awarded through a lottery held by Lay’s in Japan. I’m already applying for residency.

Alternatively, clean your fingers with a travel-size bottle of hand sanitizer after chipping like a normal person who doesn’t have an automated Finger Washer. That’s what I would do if I ever touched the chips instead of just pouring them into my mouth from the bag. I’ve actually saved myself time and money, if you think about it. Those seconds and pennies add up.

[via OddityCentral]

Plushie Animal Chairs: Stuffed Animal Seating

Because who hasn’t dreamed of sitting on a chair made of stuffed animals, AP Collection is selling a line of seating upholstered in numerous stuffed animals. There are monkeys, chameleons, dogs, panda bears, and woodland creatures – you name it! All for your butt to enjoy. I have a feeling Cruella de Vil is going to be all over this collection.

Each of the chairs is a limited edition of 30 to 100, and there aren’t any prices listed on the website, so you can rest assured they cost a pretty penny. I suggest making your own for cheaper by taking a trip to Home Depot for lumber, then to the arcade to pump money in a claw machine until you’ve collected at least fifty stuffed animals. Actually… maybe it won’t be cheaper.

You know what I’d really like to see? A collection of chairs made out of valuable Beanie Babies to make them even MORE exclusive. Crazy rich people would buy them. I know I would if I were crazy and rich. I’m not, though, so I just occasionally sit on a pile of my dog’s toys and pretend.

[via DudeIWantThat]

World’s First Chia Toilet: The Sprouthouse

Who hasn’t dreamed of resting their rear on some soft green sprouts while they go about their bathroom business? Good news! YouTuber Ali Spagnola created the Sprouthouse: a toilet completely covered in chia seedlings. As far as good ideas go, I think we can all agree this one is Nobel Prize-worthy. Somebody get Ali one of those MacArthur Fellowship genius grants too.

First, Ali wrapped her entire toilet with gauze to hold the seeds while they spout, then carefully watered them every day for seven days until she had the world’s greenest toilet. She then takes a seat to test it, which she describes as “just a little moist, but in a satisfying way.” Wow, who knew sitting on a moist toilet could ever be satisfying?

Ali insists nobody should go their whole life without sitting on a Chia toilet, and I couldn’t agree more. I mean, is a life having never sat on a plant-covered crapper truly worth living? I, for one, don’t plan on risking it. Now I just need to convince my wife to not go into the guest bathroom for the next week.

The Astronaut Rabbit Side Table/Tissue Holder Is a Real Product That Exists

The day has finally come: the astronaut rabbit butler side table/tissue holder we’ve all been waiting for is finally available for sale! And to think of all the sleepless nights I’ve had to endure just waiting for it. I’ll be sleeping like a baby bunny tonight, that’s for sure.

The table is manufactured by WRNM, available on Amazon (affiliate link) in green, orange, grey, and white, and comes in two sizes: 28″ tall, and 35″ tall. Obviously, rabbit astronaut side tables are definitely a go-big-or-go-home situation, so you better buy the larger version. The astrobunny’s helmet also holds a box of tissues, that way you can wipe all your tears of joy for finally acquiring your dream side table.

I don’t know about you, but I just bought two – one for each side of the sofa. That way there will always be an astronaut rabbit side table within reach. Unless I’m sitting on the middle cushion, which is why I actually just bought three. The cover of Metropolitan Home, here I come!

[via DudeIWantThat]

Need to Adjust Something? Put a Knob on It!

Does your office mate talk too loud on the phone? Is your dog barking too much when the doorbell rings? Or do you have a kid that just won’t stop whining about some toy they want you to buy them? Wouldn’t it be great if you could just slap a knob on all of them to turn down the volume?

These fun capsule toys from Japan let you slap a knob wherever you need one, giving you smooth analog control over the intensity of anything. They’re designed to look like the heat control knobs on a stove, but the only limit to what they can control is your imagination. Use them to adjust the height of the flame on candles, turn down the foul perfume odor in the elevator, or stick one in your car and use it instead of an accelerator pedal. These dials are way better than a universal remote control!

Seriously, though, these dials don’t actually do anything, but they do make a fun fidget toy, and are also great for pranking people by adding a random dial to things that don’t normally have one.

[via Toy People]

The Furbtroller: A Fully Functional Terrifying Furby XBox Controller

Because dreams really do come true, and that means nightmares as well, engineer Chad Etzel went and built the unholy Furbtroller: an Xbox controller modded using Furby body parts, including eyeballs and mouth for joysticks. I only hope by the time you’re reading this that it’s already been cleansed with fire and wiped from the earth.

Chad says he was originally inspired to build the controller after fellow gamer Ben Bayliss made a rendering of a Furby-themed Xbox controller (seen above), and decided to take that inspiration to the next logical step. That step being the abomination you see here. Never before have I wished the internet axiom ‘What Has Been Seen, Cannot Be Unseen’ wasn’t so true.

Could you even imagine trying to actually play a video game with this nightmare? Forget about beating a boss in Elden Ring, I’d be more concerned with destroying the monster in my hands. I’ll be honest – I’m seriously considering starting a Patreon for Chad and contributing if he promises not to make any more controllers in the future.