If you’re looking for a creepy gift for the KFC lover in your life this Valentine’s Day, this Colonel Sanders Bearskin rug will be a gift they never ever forget. It’s not real bearskin, so don’t worry PETA. Still, that doesn’t make it any less horrifying.
Okay, I lied. You can’t really get your hands on one. Apparently, three of the rugs were given away in separate Reddit contests where entrants had to draw, Photoshop, or write the rug into a scene. This would be great for couples who love sitting by the fire and eating some greasy KFC with some champagne. And if you get it on, it’s technically a threesome since the Colonel is under you.
But hey, if you like eating greasy chicken and then doing the nasty on top of a Colonel Sanders bearskin rug, you have some problems. I’m not judging, but seriously, get some help. There’s nothing sexy about greasy chicken. Or the Colonel.
What does it say about their food that they have to sell it using stuff like this? I’m just saying, if people wanted it, it would sell itself. What’s wrong with you KFC?
We’ve seen machines designed to clean bathrooms before, but this one is an actual tiny robot that you lift up and put in your toilet. Altan Robotech’s invention, named “Giddel” has a humanoid shaped head so that you can feel extra weird about putting a small being into a toilet bowl.
Just get this guy out of his charging base and put him in your dirty toilet bowl. It attaches under the seat in the back thanks to a mounting plate that you have to install. Then it scrubs away while you and your wife get it on in front of the bathroom mirror. Don’t believe me? Skip to about 13 seconds into the video below. This couple just loves a robot audience:
Giddel’s big blue eyes are buttons. It’s child and pet-friendly, and it has built-in navigation, whatever the hell that means. I guess it means that it won’t start furiously brushing your kid or dog instead of staying in the toilet bowl.
The Giddel toilet cleaning robot is available now for an introductory price of $399.99. Sure, this little guy cleans your toilet, but who cleans him? You, that’s who. So it still gives you a chore to do. You’re just cleaning a filthy toilet cleaning robot instead of a filthy toilet. So that sucks.
AIchan and GONta are the world’s latest comedy duo. These two funny robots were created by a lab at Japan’s Konan University and use an AI program to respond to one another and tell jokes. They do Japanese stand-up comedy routines, which usually involves a “straight man” and a “funny man” who trade jokes back and forth based on misunderstandings, puns, gags, and wordplay. You know, like Abbot and Costello, Laurel and Hardy, and other classic acts who bring the funny.
One is even tall while the other is short and fat. Classic comedy formula there. The robots use an AI program to search for information on topics and spontaneously put together their show. That AI also no doubt will make them divas as their stardom grows. Now, all we need is a robot agent that will take 10% of their power for every gig it books.
Are they funny? I have no idea since I don’t speak Japanese. Perhaps one of our readers can tell us. They don’t look all that funny to me. I hope they can at least clean the floor like a Roomba while they are doing their show. Funny or not, my floors need to be cleaned. And that ain’t no joke.
If you’ve ever gotten into your car after a big workout or on a really hot day, you and Ford’s latest robot likely have something in common. A sweaty butt. To make sure that your car seat will stand up to such things, Ford engineers in Europe are going all out.
Ford’s Robutt is designed to mimic a sweaty butt. Taint nothing butt another chance to get crackin’ on quality at Ford. Ford uses the butt to test the effectiveness of their car seats over time. It is basically a butt-shaped cushion attached to a Kuka industrial robot arm, which is repeatedly pressed onto the tester seat to recreate 10 years of sweaty wear and tear.
The sweat test takes three days to complete and by the end of it, Robutt sits in the test seat 7,500 times, and even leans from side to side. In case you are wondering, the Robutt has the butt dimensions of a large man, is heated to body temperature, and soaked with 450 milliliters of water.
So there you go. Robots are getting grosser as they strive to copy humans, showing us just how gross WE really are. At least you know that quality is still job one at Ford, and that those seats are built Ford tough.
On January 20, 1982, in Des Moines, Iowa, singer Ozzy Osbourne bit off the head of a dead bat thrown on stage by a fan, in front of a crowd of 5000 people. There is apparently some debate on whether he really did it or not, but the stunt made rock history anyway. Well, it’s the 37th anniversary of the incident and to celebrate it, there is now a plush version of the infamous bat with a detachable head.
You could never get away with this stunt today, real or not, because PETA would hound you forever. If you want, you can pretend that you are Ozzy on stage, and take a bite out of this thing if that’s what you’re into. There’s no actual blood in this plush toy, but if there were, this would be more of a slushie than a plushie.
It’s a cute plush when it’s head is on anyway. The first batch of these toys went up for pre-sale and is sold out. We have no idea if there will be more. If you see them for sale, buy it like a bat out of hell. Oh wait, that’s Meat Loaf. Anyway, no threat of rabies with this bat. Bite it all you want.
If your home decor is lacking, perhaps you just need some more skulls. These decorative unicorn skulls should do the trick just fine. Each resin skull is hand-painted and polished and looks like what a real unicorn skull would look like if they existed. Maybe you can hang this next to your Bigfoot fur rug, Chupacabra skeleton, or Ogre taxidermy trophy.
Each skull measures 10.75″ (h) x 8.5″(w) x 4.75″ (d). Something tells me that this isn’t to scale with an actual unicorn. Its horn is screwed onto the skull which I don’t think is how it works in real-life but what are you gonna do? Maybe you can swap that horn out for other stuff, like a decorative ice cream cone, a hand making devil horns, a lightsaber, or other fun accessories. I like the idea of a Jedi unicorn with a lightsaber instead of a horn. I might have to make a short Star Wars film with an all unicorn cast. The lightsaber duels will be the best. When they collide they create rainbows.
Pay no attention to the robots that want to wipe out humanity and enslave any survivors. Instead be distracted by this silly looking googly-eyed robot. Isn’t he adorable? Giant Food Stores, a supermarket chain popular in Pennsylvania, Maryland, Virginia, and West Virginia, will soon getting some silly looking robots in their stores. Within six months time, each of the 172 supermarkets will be working with these robots who are each called “Marty.”
Giant’s parent company, Ahold Delhaize USA, based in the Netherlands, also owns Martin’s and Stop & Shop locations, hence the name. These stores will also be getting robots, so Marty is going to show up in 500 locations all told. My question is this: How long until someone paints one of these so that it looks like that hot dog from Sausage Party? Because that’s what it kinda looks like already.
Each Marty will alert humans to problems spills or other trip hazards with voice warnings. What else can it do? I have no idea, but I’m sure that small kids will grab onto it and go for rides until it eventually tips over, crushing someone while its googly eyes go crazy. They’ll have no choice but to take it out back and put it down at that point. Sad really.
Before we get into the topic at hand, let me ask you guys something. What the hell is wrong with y’all? Why do you need to wear these shoes that look like they’re made of human skin? Are they for serial killers? All I know is that they are super creepy and they make it look like you have demon feet. You really want demon feet?
These things are actually thigh high so that when you wear them they hopefully look like it is your real skin. I’m not surprised at all that they are made by a company known as “Fecal Matter.” The artists say they’re designed to make a statement about social media ideals and body modification.
They aren’t available yet, but when they are they’ll be sold for the rather outlandish price of $10,000 – making them only accessible to wealthy freaks. They are planning on making a more affordable version for those who can’t afford the high price tag.
If you have a flair for the musical and want to redo your bathroom, you might want to do what this guy did. This is Redditor marc_urzz’s step-uncle’s bathroom. The highlight of the space is the tuba he repurposed as the sink.
If you think this is unique, here’s a shot of three tenor horns that were converted into urinals by someone else. It’s too bad these aren’t all in the same bathroom. I personally want to take a dump in a trumpet, but so far my lack of bathroom instruments have not made this possible. When you have a brass band bathroom, taking a poop is like smooth jazz and you’ll feel like Pewey Armstrong… or Deuce Ellington. Okay, I’ll stop.
If you know someone who has a bathroom like this, never put an instrument to your lips when offered one. You don’t know where it’s been. Well, in this case, you have a pretty good idea I guess.
Worried about the robot apocalypse? We all are. Here’s something different. Rather than trying to kill you or take your job, this new Japanese robot just roams around your house and asks you for hugs. That’s a refreshing change. It is called Lovot and has a plush body that’s warm and cuddly, and big, bright eyes.
The high-tech companion was actually developed by former Formula 1 racecar designer Kaname Hayashi who also worked on Softbank’s Pepper humanoid robot. He says that everything about the robot is designed to create attachment. It doesn’t talk, but chirps instead. Its eyes have six graphical layers that can mimic involuntary eye movement, presumably to make it more lifelike and less creepy.
Even the heat that’s generated by the onboard computer is designed to make it desirable to hold. The heat is directed to the robot’s surface so that it feels warm to the touch. There are more than 50 sensors on the body that can detect touch too. With the help of more than 10 CPU cores, its three cameras map and navigate the environment so that it can remember up to 1,000 people and tell them all apart.
Lovot is priced at around $3,000, and needs a monthly subscription which starts at $90. It goes up for sale in Japan next year. Those are some expensive hugs.