Scientists Develop Butt Scanner Because Fingerprints Aren’t Enough

Our butts: just like our fingerprints, they’re all unique. And now scientists at Stanford University have developed a prototype ‘smart toilet’ (links to their scientific paper) that can identify an individual based on their unique, um, analprint. That’s cool, that’s cool, we’re all mature adults here.

Using both a traditional fingerprint scanner and an image recognition algorithm to identify a user’s unique anoderm (the exterior part of the anus), the system then uses its under-the-seat mounted camera and sensor array to analyze a person’s urine and excrement for health evaluation and discerning potential concerns. You’d think a fingerprint scanner and maybe a voice recognition program or something would have been sufficient to identify a toilet user, but I suppose why not scan the ol’ anoderm for good measure?

The system was developed specifically for being able to identify the different members of a household for separate waste analysis and not as a stand-alone biometric identification system, which is probably for the best since the use of analprint scanners would make identifying yourself for access to an office building significantly more awkward.

[via Vice]

Ford Made a Sweaty Robot Butt to Simulate Sweaty Human Butts

If you’ve ever gotten into your car after a big workout or on a really hot day, you and Ford’s latest robot likely have something in common. A sweaty butt. To make sure that your car seat will stand up to such things, Ford engineers in Europe are going all out.

Ford’s Robutt is designed to mimic a sweaty butt. Taint nothing butt another chance to get crackin’ on quality at Ford. Ford uses the butt to test the effectiveness of their car seats over time. It is basically a butt-shaped cushion attached to a Kuka industrial robot arm, which is repeatedly pressed onto the tester seat to recreate 10 years of sweaty wear and tear.

The sweat test takes three days to complete and by the end of it, Robutt sits in the test seat 7,500 times, and even leans from side to side. In case you are wondering, the Robutt has the butt dimensions of a large man, is heated to body temperature, and soaked with 450 milliliters of water.

So there you go. Robots are getting grosser as they strive to copy humans, showing us just how gross WE really are. At least you know that quality is still job one at Ford, and that those seats are built Ford tough.

[via Techly]

Pokémon Butt Bookmarks: Gotta Spank ‘Em All

The next time you find yourself reading one of the classics, mark your page in the classiest way possible. With a Pokemon butt, naturally. These Pokémon butt bookmarks make it look as if one of the fictional creatures is trapped within the pages of your book and squirming to get out.

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These fun bookmarks were created by Ukrainian artist Olena Mysnyk of MyBookmark. Choose from Charmander, Pikachu, Meowth, Eevee, or Squirtle. Nothing looks as cool marking your page as Squirtle’s butt.

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Even if you can’t catch them all in Pokémon GO, at least it will look like you caught some in your favorite books.

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[via Mashable]

Butt-shaped Lamp: Pinch on, Slap off

I’ve pinched and slapped some butts in my time, but I’ve never made them glow like this thing. This ‘Slap It’ lamp will have you pinching it or slapping it to turn it on and off. This is clearly for folks who love interacting with butts.
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Pinch on, slap off. That sounds like the old Karate Kid thing gone horribly wrong. I knew that Mister Miyagi could not be trusted.

Designed by artist Joseph Begley, this limited edition piece will set you back £700 (~$1165 USD), and can be had in a variety of colors.

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If this lamp makes you happy, start saving your money. Pinch those pennies, so you can pinch ‘dat ass. Can a boob version be far behind?

[via Incredible Things via Geekologie]

Clever Shirt Turns People’s Buttcracks Into Cleavage (Slightly NSFW)

A plumbing company got creative with their advertising by deploying these ads of a plumber bending over to do some odd jobs at customers’ homes. It’s hard to put what makes it creative into words, so I’d rather just let you see it instead.

Butt ShirtIt’s a shirt featuring a gorgeous bombshell at the back, who’s only printed up to her shoulders. So when the dude bends over and shows a bit of butt crack, she gets some awesome butt boobage – in an attempt to make the usually undesirable butt cleavage more desirable.

Here’s another look:

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Thankfully, we don’t see the dude’s faces. The URL featured on the shirt no longer exists, so maybe these ads weren’t hugely successful. But it sure was creative, wasn’t it?

[via Geekologie]


Aero Seat Cushion Cools Your Bottom While You Work

It’s common to have a bottom that sweats. It might sound a bit weird and more than just a little disgusting, but it’s a fact of life: people sweat, and so do their behinds.

If you’ve been blessed with a butt that sweats just a little too much, then you’ll be pleased to know that the Japanese have got your butt covered with their Aero Seat Cooling Cushion. That’s a pretty fancy name for a fanned seat cushion, because they could probably just call it a Butt Fan and get their point across more easily.

Aero Seat Cooling Cushion

The Aero Seat comes with two settings which you can tweak to your fanny’s content. It’s powered by 4 AA batteries and is equipped with a motor with an 8,000-hour life, so you’ll more or less get your money’s worth – depending on how much you love your butt.

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The Aero Seat Cooling Cushion retails for $89(USD) and is available online from Japan Trend Shop.