Extravagant RJ Joker Watch Is No Laughing Matter

Why did Batman sit on his watch? He wanted to be on time. (Ba-dum-bum.) Like most of the Joker’s jokes, there’s nothing funny about the seriously intricate Swiss-made timepieces from RJ: two DC Comics watches featuring Batman foes The Joker and Two-Face. Each is in a limited edition of 100 priced at (gulp) $15,700 apiece.

The RJ Arraw Joker watch is a self-winding chronograph in a satin-brushed 45mm titanium case with rubber bumpers and ace-of-hearts-shaped hands. The reverse is laser-engraved with a Joker portrait. The dial is hand-painted assuring that no two watches will be exactly alike.

The Joker watch comes with an exclusive deck of Joker playing cards and three interchangeable straps: green and purple alligator skin, and black rubber. The whole package can be yours for the price of a 2019 Hyundai Accent when it drops on 11/28/2019.

This Ping Pong Table Is Made from Crystal and Gold

Yo, rich people, check it out. This is the Impatia Lungolinea gold edition table tennis table from Turin, Italy based Adriano Design. Isn’t it luxurious? It is made from crystal glass with 24k gold connecting joints and furthermore, made by “expert Italian goldsmiths.” Ohhhhhh, the Goldsmiths of Tuscany? Yeah, they got money.

It looks cool, but wouldn’t the glass table make the ball bounce differently than a wooden surface? Then again, if you have a glass and gold ping pong table you probably care more about impressing other rich folks than you do about your actual game. The table measures 108″ x 60″ x 30″, and weighs in at a substantial 551-pounds. It will cost you $26,000, which is like buying a pack of gum for rich people.

And honestly, I ask you, how many rich people are playing Ping Pong these days? I’m guessing not many. But now they might since they can buy this sweet table. Get ready for the Billionaire Table Tennis League!

So anyway, you wealthy people can now play ping pong and then smash the table with a diamond-encrusted hammer when you lose. That would be the best part of owning this: Watching it shatter into a million pieces as your opponent stares at you in shock.

[via Luxury Launches via Geekologie]

You Can’t Pay the Iron Price for These Incredible Game of Thrones Pens

If you’re a Game of Thrones fan who loves to write notes and send them by raven, then Italian writing instrument maker Montegrappa has just the perfect pen for you. It is called the Winter is Here edition.

The pen has an extremely intricate exterior that makes it a work of art, carved from pearlized great celluloid and “enveloped by a masterful study in the ancient art of lost wax casting.” It is a beauty that’s for sure.

The Night King and a White Walker are engraved on the pen’s barrel with ice-blue apatite crystals for eyes and on the pen’s cap, and the ice dragon Viserion is carved in precious metal, over a ring of blue-crystalline hand-glazed flames. The dragon wraps around the pen cap and the head with the tongue of ice is the pocket clip.

It is available in your choice of fountain or rollerball, and in sterling silver or solid 18K gold. The silver model is limited to 300 units, while the 18K gold has an ultra limited run of just 7 units.

These pens aren’t cheap, mind you. The sterling silver version is €4,500 (~$5,080 USD) a pop for the fountain and €4,050 (~$5,570 USD) for the rollerball. The gold one will cost you €48,000 (~$54,270 USD) for the fountain, or €51,000 (~$57,680 USD) for the rollerball.

[via Mike Shouts]

Dread Pirate Roberts Action Figure Will Most Likely Kill Your Wallet in the Morning

Of all the flicks that I remember from growing up in the 1980s, one of the best was The Princess Bride. I’ll admit to not wanting to watch it in my youth because it sounded like a “girl movie” to my younger self. Once I watched it, it was fantastic – with giants, sword fights, and matches of wits.

Fans of The Princess Bride will love this premium action figure of Westley as The Dread Pirate Roberts. Standing 12.25″ tall, the sixth-scale figure looks just like Cary Elwes. It comes with two heads: one shows Westley’s face, the other is Westley wearing the Dread Pirate Roberts’ mask.

The figure has that bitchin’, but sort of pubey, mustache from the films and comes complete with his black pirate costume, sword, and wine goblet. It comes with seven different gloved hands, and two bare hands allow for ambidextrous sword fights. ThinkGeek will sell you one, as you wish, for $199.99.

Bubbly Blaster Turns Champagne Bottles into Squirt Guns

Wanna keep the champagne flowing at your party, but want to up the fun factor? Check out the Bubbly Blaster. It’s a metal spray head attachment made for champagne bottles that turns them into squirt guns. Oh yeah. This is going to be a good time. Once the party is over you’ll have the added benefit of a costly renovation thanks to all of the damage caused by sticky champagne all over everything, so maybe move the party outside before you bust out this blaster.

This gadget attaches to your bottle and it can shoot as far as 30-feet. It also doubles as a stopper. It will cost you $100, or you could just hold your thumb over the bottle like a normal person who doesn’t like to throw money away. That’s up to you. Actually, I would suggest a Super Soaker if you really must waste your champagne.

This is just further proof that rich people don’t have enough things to occupy their time. When you have nothing better to do than shoot champagne at each other… Well, actually that’s a pretty good life. You know, you guys could always load up a cannon and shoot some expensive stuff our way. Just an idea. Maybe some gold.

[via This Is Why I’m Broke via The Awesomer]

Tiffany & Co. Building Blocks: Like LEGO for Rick Kids

You know Tiffany & Co? They’re the ones that make all the expensive jewelry and accessories for rich people. I’m pretty sure that you and I aren’t even allowed to utter their name aloud unless our bank account hits a certain threshold. Well, now they are getting into the rich spoiled brat market with Tiffany sterling silver building blocks. Think of them as luxury LEGO.

These deluxe building blocks are not actually toys. We think. They look like the toy bricks we all know and love, but instead of round studs, these ones have square studs and are made of sterling silver and American walnut.

Naturally, they are also expensive. They’re priced at $1,650 for a set of 10 bricks. The 10 pieces include three 2 by 2 blocks (0.62” square), three 2 by 3 blocks (0.93 x 0.62”), three 2 by 5 blocks (1.55 x 0.62”), all in sterling silver and american walnut wood. The last brick is a single 2 by 5 block (1.55 x 0.62”) in all sterling silver.

They are numbered and lettered and you can personalize them with an engraving of up to three letters as well. That costs an extra $25 ,which is nothing to anyone who is buying sterling silver LEGO blocks. Damn rich kids and their gleaming silver structures!

[via The Sun via Mike Shouts]

This V12 Espresso Machine Is Made with Gold and Diamonds

Super Veloce is a German company that coffee machines inspired by aviation and motorsport. Among their luxurious, functional art pieces are a series of Formula 1 V12 engine espresso machines. This one is the deluxe model called the Espresso Veloce Royale 01.

The 62 pound metal machine is inspired by the V12 engine of Formula 1 race cars from the 1990s, and is made from a variety of metals including aerospace-grade aluminum, surgical stainless steel, silver, and titanium, but what really sets this edition apart are its much pricier materials. This over-the-top espresso maker also contains real 18-carat white gold, diamonds, amethyst gems, and thermoset carbon fiber, impregnated with gold leaf.

Each of these limited-edition machines comes with four matching espresso cups that are just as luxurious as the coffee maker itself. It’s perfect for wealthy automobile and caffeine lovers. Although we don’t know the exact price right now, you know what they say: “if you have to ask, you can’t afford it.”

[via Luxury Launches via Mike Shouts]