There are probably a dozen Star Wars collaborations available at any given moment, but this one from Columbia is low-key bizarre yet still desirable. First off, the Outer Rim collection features Star Wars characters integrated into a line of shirts from Columbia’s Performance Fishing Gear (PFG) line. Second, the print on the shirts depicts tropical leaves, which hide not just the heroic X-Wing and Millennium Falcon, but also stormtroopers, TIE fighters, and Darth Vader himself. Kinda ominous don’t you think? Also, where are the Mon Calamari?!
As with other PFG apparel, these shirts feature lightweight fabric with rear ventilation, anti-UV treatment, and, er, a rod holder. Whatever, it works and I’m down for it. You can order the shirts from Columbia right now. The adult male shirt costs $65 (USD), the adult female sleeveless top goes for $60, and the unisex children’s shirt is priced at $45.
Tacos: they’re tied with pizza for the food I’d pick if I could only choose only one kind to eat for the rest of my life on a deserted island. Let’s just hope it never comes to that though, because I love both dearly. Handmade by Gulnara Kydyrmyshova and other women in her Kyrgyzstan community, these Taco Booties available from Uncommon Goods make the perfect footwear for getting your young one started on Taco Tuesdays at an appropriately early age.
The Taco Booties are constructed of sheep’s wool that’s dyed, spun, and felted in small batches so no two booties are exactly alike. They cost $25 per pair (the only way to order tacos) and are designed to fit 6 to 12-month-old baby feet. But is that going to stop me from trying to wear a pair? Yes. I’m hungry, not crazy.
Now I just need a pair of pizza booties so I can mix and match my baby’s footwear. Not unlike how I’m wearing two different colored socks today. That’s the great thing about working from home though – there’s nobody here to make fun of me except my wife. Who, incidentally, makes fun of me harder than my whole office used to. I miss going to work sometimes.
Because nothing makes me want to sing in the rain more than an umbrella to keep me dry (otherwise I’ll typically run as fast as I can through the rain), this is the $37 Stained Glass Umbrella available from the Japan Trend Shop. It’s the perfect umbrella for carrying a rainbow with you.
In addition to drawing inspiration from the early 20th-century stained glass designs seen around Japan during the rule of emperors Meiji and Taisho, the Stained Glass Umbrella also draws on the vinyl/see-through umbrella motif that “has been a trademark of any Japanese townscape since the 1950s.” I can already close my eyes and see majestic Mount Fuji rising in the distance.
Of course, the biggest problem with a stained glass umbrella is that if it is raining, it probably isn’t bright enough outside to cast its beautiful shadow. Still, it will keep you from getting wet, which, the last time I checked, is the purpose of carrying an umbrella anyways. Well, that, and pretending you’re Inigo Montoya and just ran into the six-fingered man.
Satire site The Hard Times and its sister site Hard Drive have a merchant who tirelessly hawks their wares to everyone, anywhere, and anytime using its arcane web powers. One of the vendor’s latest offerings is the Basic Cotton Armor tee. It helpfully displays its stats, description, and even a drawing of itself all the time, no need to mouse over or right-click. You don’t need to farm cute level 1 creatures to craft or scrounge up some strange currency for it. Thirty of the dollars from your usual grind will do.
Because who plays video games without sneakers to match their console, Sony has teamed up with Nike and basketball player/lifelong Playstation fan Paul George to create a Playstation 5 inspired colorway for George’s PG5 basketball shoes. I can already sense my skills improving at NBA 2K21.
Set for release on May 27th at 10:00AM, the $120 shoes will almost certainly all be instantly snatched up by resellers, who will then put them on eBay for $300+, making them inaccessible to anybody who doesn’t have a fast bicycle and lucrative paper route. And I wonder why I still can’t get my hands on a PS5.
You make recall the previously posted PG2, another Playstation inspired sneaker from Nike and Paul George that had a light-up logo and vibrated like a DualShock controller. Well, these don’t do that.
My wife doesn’t actually let me buy nice sneakers anymore because whenever I run out of socks I start wearing them barefoot, then they start to stink. It’s an endless cycle. One that could probably be broken if I did laundry more often, but that would interfere with my time to play video games and with my allergies, I can’t smell all that well anyway.
Are you one of those people who is cold no matter what? Perhaps you need some heated pajamas to keep you warm. The Damegi 4GW Heated Jumpsuit should do the trick. Sure, you might look silly wearing this outfit if you venture outside, but if you’re parked on your couch playing video games and nibbling on Doritos, you should be just fine.
Sitting somewhere between a snuggie and a heated blanket, the Damegi 4GW is designed for gamers and anyone else who could use a warm-up. It’s made from a soft and stretchy velour fleece that won’t limit movement in case you wear it while VR gaming, or even while you toss and turn in bed. It’s got a pair of USB-powered heaters inside which start warming up in just about 5 seconds and achieve their maximum temperature in under 4 minutes.
If you need to go to the bathroom while wearing it, the jumpsuit includes an easy access flap for that too. Or as Google translate explains: “Toilet System 6.0 while wearing on: provides a more comfortable buttocks.” Yeah, Toilet System 5.0 is so last year. And if tend to lose all your heat through your head, they’ve got you covered, literally. This thing has a hoodie built-in, and you can even zip it up to cover your face, though they’re very clear that you shouldn’t sleep with it covering your face if you want to breathe.
So if you’re feeling chilly today, you can grab the Damegi 4GW from Amazon Japan for ¥14,220 or about $132 USD.
The great outdoors: it comes with a lot of bugs. And what if you don’t like those bugs? Enter the WalkingPod Mesh personal anti-insect tent, a wearable fine-gauge mesh tent that prevents pesky bugs from getting too close. Plus it makes you look cool while you’re mowing the lawn or picnicking with your significant other.
Available from Under The Weather, the limited edition (act now!) $90 pod stays in place via backpack-style shoulder straps and an adjustable belt. It also has an elastic waistband to prevent bugs from entering from underneath, and two elastic holes to stick your arms through, making your exposed forearms an all-you-can-eat buffet for mosquitos.
So, did you already buy one? I bet you didn’t, because I already bought them all out of stock. Now I’m reselling them on eBay for twice the price like PS5s, although they’re not exactly selling like the hotcakes I expected them to be. As a matter of fact, I’ve actually had to take a loss on most of them. Also, there’s a 100% chance I forget I’m wearing my WalkingPod and smash a hotdog into the mesh.
Battle: it can come at you in the blink of an eye. So why not be prepared for combat with this medieval chain mail shirt and coif available from the Medieval Warrior Store on Amazon (affiliate link). The original under armor is waist length and comes in three sizes: medium ($70), large ($90), and X-large ($100). Obviously, I plan on wearing all three sizes on top of each other for maximum protection.
I just bought an x-large because I don’t really have the funds to buy one of each size, but I’m wondering if it will really be able to withstand a sword attack. I’ve got the sneaking suspicious it might not, but I also have the sneaking suspicion that after one too many beers this weekend I’ll know for sure.
Could you imagine wearing this and actually besting a dragon and rescuing a beautiful princess from its clutches? I daydream about it often, but it always ends with my wife riding that same dragon to chase me down and burn me alive with its fire breath. C’est la vie.
Ready to take your next cosplay to the winner’s circle at a convention? Or maybe you just want to spice up your next Dungeons & Dragons session. Well, Etsy shop DraconicWares has the gauntlets for you. I mean, provided the gauntlets for you are anodized aluminum dragonscale gauntlets. I think we can all agree, everyone should own at least one pair of in their lifetime.
Similar in style to these previously seen fingerless gauntlets, these models are made to your exact finger and wrist measurements with full finger scaling, all attached via anodized aluminum (AA) rings. The palms are made of chainmail mesh with AA rings as well as synthetic rubber rings to ensure a snug fight and solid grip on your Axe Of Unforgiving or Chalice Of Bloodthirst.
Unfortunately for anybody seriously interested in the gauntlets that didn’t just collect a king’s ransom, the made-to-order armwear costs $600 a pair. That’s not chump change, and if the rest of a suit of dragonscale armor is priced accordingly I may have no choice but to meet my enemies in battle wearing little more than dragonscale gauntlets and my favorite track pants.
When is a fish not a fish? When it’s a clown! Okay, a clownfish is still a fish, but I just thought that sounded good. For those of you living under a rock or who haven’t visited an aquarium or watched a Pixar movie, clownfish are those colorful little fish that are orange with white stripes. Now you can carry around a clownfish wherever you go, thanks to Krukru Studio, who makes a purse that looks just like Nemo.
The fishy purse measures about 17″ x 9″ and is available in felt, faux leather, or real leather, which I have on good authority are not what an actual clownfish is made of. Those are made entirely of love and pixie dust. Or is it Pixar dust? I digress. The clownfish purse is available on Krukru’s Etsy shop for $89 to $99 depending on the material you choose. That’s a whole lot more than it’ll cost you to buy a real clownfish, but this one is way bigger.
Now, all we need is a giant anemone purse for this purse to hang out inside of all day. Of course, that would likely poison its wearer, but that’s okay – the clownfish is immune to the anemone’s toxins.