Space: according to Star Trek, is the final frontier. And I learned everything I know from watching Star Trek, most importantly of which is always keep someone in a red shirt between you and an enemy’s phaser. But how can we pay homage to our current space exploration? Enter this Curiosity Rover wrist rest available from Vietnam-based Moon Key. Wait – where are all the aliens?
Available for $99, the wrist rest comes in five different widths to accommodate any keyboard and features a hand-painted Curiosity Rover cruising along the rocky surface of the red planet. I’m tempted to buy one, knowing full well it’s going to be hard to get any work done while constantly getting lost daydreaming about space exploration and making rocket ship noises at my desk.
As far as preventing wrist strain, there’s no question it beats my current wrist rest, which is none at all. Unfortunately, the strain causes my hands to cramp and requires me to take regular breaks from typing. Plus, my keyboard is missing keys, and I have to copy and paste certain characters from a notepad document I keep open on my desktop. Honestly, I should probably buy a book on productivity. You know, something to rest my coffee on.
Because playing with your food is an important part of a well-balanced breakfast, Firebox is selling this officially licensed Tetris Waffle Maker ($41), which produces seven different Tetrimino-shaped waffles in just minutes. Granted, it will probably never produce one of the long stick pieces when you really need it the most.
It’s fun to think about eating these waffles and then them forming different shapes in your stomach just like in the game, trying to minimize the amount of space they take up in your belly. Wait, did I say that was fun to think about? I meant to say that’s weird to think about.
Now, let’s have a Tetris waffle eating contest! I figure I’m good for at least 100 lines. Just a heads up though, I’ve never lost an eating contest, even if it meant hospitalization afterward. They’re one of the very few things I take seriously in life, along with sleeping in and extreme couponing.
Car ignition buttons: they usually just say ‘START STOP’ and sit there looking boring. Well now you can spice up your vehicle’s go button with one of these superhero helmet covers manufactured by LCDXBYTFT (try saying that ten times fast!) and available on Amazon (affiliate link). Plus I heard they add at least another 5 horsepower with their looks alone, similar to racing stripes or red brake caliper covers.
Available in several different superhero styles (Iron Man, Spider-Man, Black Panther, Punisher, Bumblebee) and a variety of colors (some with translucent eyes that will appear to glow after dark if your ignition button is illuminated), the covers are “applicable to 99% of existing market models.” But what about my 2001 Explorer that doesn’t even have an ignition button? Or functional heat or A/C.
According to the manufacturer, the ignition covers make “every start of the car a sense of ritual.” Presumably a different ritual than the one I perform now, which involves saying a prayer and crossing my fingers the engine actually turns over, then proceeding to curse all the way to work in the cold.
Garden gnomes: they live hard lives. They constantly have to be on the lookout for hungry cats and other wild animals. Apparently including dinosaurs, as is the case with this t-rex eating garden gnomes sculpture made by SOWSUN and available on Amazon (affiliate link). I can already see all my existing gnomes scrambling in terror.
Each resin statue is hand-painted with UV-resistant paint to prevent fading and measures approximately 14″H x 10″L x 6″W. Am I going to buy a whole army of them? I mean, it’s kind of hard not to know that the idea is in my head. Hey honey – I’m just going to borrow your credit card for a minute, okay?
Which gnome is your favorite? I like the one that’s being trampled underfoot. I also like the one in the t-rex’s jaws with his eyes closed, already resigned to a painful, crushing death. Clearly, that gnome didn’t grow up with a cartoon frog-choking-the-stork-that’s-eating-it ‘NEVER GIVE UP’ poster in his bedroom.
Genius: you know it when you see it. And I saw this motorized piano BBQ grill crafted by YouTuber Handy Geng, and I knew instantly he was ahead of his time. Did he travel back from the future to showcase this marvel of modern music and grilling technology? It would be hard to argue otherwise. Now play the Oscar Mayer Wiener song!
Handy Geng’s ‘BBQ Car,’ as he calls it, consists of a piano that can be driven around on a motorized base. When a key is pressed, it not only plays the proper note but also rotates the corresponding rotisserie skewer above. Honestly, it’s hard to imagine someone being so ahead of their time. It’s scary. Did anybody else just get the goosebumps?
The video details the entire build of the BBQ Car, and if I were any handier I would definitely try building my own. I’m not handy though, and I’m fully willing to admit even attempting to build my own motorized BBQ car would result in an inextinguishable fire, and, much more than likely, the total loss of my security deposit.
Just when you thought the perfect Star Trek ugly Christmas sweater already existed (see: this ‘Trek The Halls’ ugly Christmas sweater), Numskull Designs returns with an even gaudier one in the form of this ‘Beam Me Up, Santa’ sweater. I think we can all agree that pun is a stretch, even for a tacky ugly Christmas sweater. The title of this article too.
The officially licensed Star Trek sweater is 100% knitted and available from Just Geek for $36 in sizes 3XS to 4XL. It was inspired by Star Trek: The Original Series, featuring the likenesses of Captain Kirk and Spock on the front, as well as the Enterprise, Santa and his reindeer, as well as some snowflakes, planets, and meteors. I… don’t remember watching that particular episode.
Sure, the sweater doesn’t make a lot of sense and is basically a garish mashup of Star Trek and Christmas themes, but I already ordered four with rush shipping, hoping they get here in time for my family to wear for our annual Christmas card photo.
Makers of the entirely unnecessary but absolutely wanted, Archie McPhee is selling these giant ant toys for $8. Available in a package of six, each hard vinyl insect measures 2-3/4″ long from antennae to ant butt and is sure to get a rise out of my wife when she finds them in the pantry. I think it goes without saying, but breakfast in bed will probably be out of the question that morning.
The six-pack includes two each of black, brown, and red ants. I remember getting stung by a bunch of red ants before. Not my fondest memory. My fifth birthday either. I asked for a Nintendo Game Boy, but do you know what I got? Poison ivy.
Be sure to bring some along on your next picnic! Maybe they’ll scare the real ants away. Or maybe they’ll mate and give rise to a new race of giant killer ants. If that happens though I will tell everyone it was all your fault.
Created in the likeness of the iconic characters from Star Trek: The Next Generation, Numskull is releasing this set of Star Trek CosCups, drinking cups cosplaying as Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Worf, Deanna Troi, and Geordi La Forge. I can already close my eyes and imagine myself sipping a morning protein shake out of Picard’s head while he wishes I wasn’t.
CosCups hold 14-ounces of your favorite beverage and are available for $22 apiece from JustGeek. They’re constructed of high-quality ceramic with a molded silicone grip (the lower body portion) to ensure your beverage stays hot or cold, but your hand stays at a regular temperature. That’s a nice feature.
Will they also be releasing Data and Commander Riker CosCups in the future? One can only hope. Or start one of those change.org petitions. That’s what I did when I wanted a set of fine Star Trek tableware, and look how that turned out. You know, maybe one person really can make a difference.
Inspired by the command division’s red uniforms from Star Trek: The Next Generation, Numbskull Designs has created these officially licensed ‘Trek The Halls’ ugly Christmas sweaters. Available from Just Geek for $42, the 100% knitted (not printed!) sweaters are available in sizes 3XS – 4XL for a size that will fit anybody. I can already see myself becoming indignant when this isn’t enough to clinch victory in the ugly Christmas sweater contest at work.
Upon closer review, I do have a hard time considering this an ugly Christmas sweater. I mean, it might actually be the most fashionable sweater I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen a lot of sweaters because I used to work sorting donations at a Goodwill. I’ve… smelled a lot of smells.
Imagine us all standing around a holiday fire in our Trek The Halls sweaters, sipping Saurian Brandy, and regaling our guests with our latest adventures aboard the Enterprise. Sounds like a dream, doesn’t it? That’s because it is a dream. I mean, unless we’re role-playing, in which case I call Data!
You know what your Google Home smart device has been missing? Muscles. Mine? Mine has been missing ever being taken out of the package after I received it as a gift because I don’t like being listened to all the time. Even my wife only pays attention to about half of what I say, and she could probably tune that back to about a quarter because the majority of what comes out of my mouth is nonsense and/or burping. Hey Google – add antacid tablets to my shopping list.
Google Home Muscles from Etsy seller 3DPrintThatThing is a $20 set of 3D printed muscles for your Google Home smart device (also for purchase as a 3D printing file on Cults3D for $4 if you own your 3D printer). Now, if you could only change the voice of your Google Home to Arnold Schwarzenegger. Available in black, white, blue, red, and green, Google Muscles is still sure to be a conversation starter. A conversation that presumably starts with, “Hey, are you okay? What’s wrong with you?”