Because sometimes even Batman needs to unwind with a cold one after a long night of crimefighting, Entertainment Earth is accepting pre-orders for this officially licensed 1989 Batman Batarang Metal Bottle Opener. It looks just like the Batarangs that Michael Keaton’s Bruce Wayne throws in Tim Burton’s movie, but far less lethal to anything but bottle tops.
Is this Batarang a little too officially licensed for you, and do you prefer your Batarang bottle openers a little more…bootleg? Well, you’re in luck, because there’s also this previously posted Batarang bottle opener made by an Etsy seller that was inspired by the ones seen in The Dark Knight. Personally, I prefer the 1989 version.
The ‘heavy-duty metal’ bottle opener measures approximately 5″ long and 4″ wide and includes magnets embedded in the back for easy displaying on your Bat-fridge. Now all I need is an R/C Batmobile to drive to and from the fridge delivering bottles to me on the sofa and my life will have finally reached its peak.
Because fancy liquor demands a fancy decanter, retailer of things you didn’t know you needed Firebox is selling this very nautical $70 Ship In A Bottle Decanter. It features a borosilicate glass ship in a 750ml bottle, complete with cork stopper (ignore the glass one in the photos) for a satisfying ‘pop’ whenever it’s rum time. It’s five o’clock somewhere, right? Which means it’s also one o’clock somewhere else and time for my nap.
Obviously, any pirate captain would be remiss to not have a ship in a bottle decanter in his cabin. I mean without one how could his crew take him seriously and not mutiny? Just like the song goes, “Yo, ho, ho, and a ship in a bottle of rum.” It’s practically a requisite for not having to walk the plank.
I really want one, but I’m torn. On the one hand, my nautical/tiki themed office pretty much demands this ship in a bottle decanter be on display. But on the other hand, a hook. Get it? Pirate joke! Yarrrrrr!
Ketchup: according to my dad it belongs on everything. He’s such a fan he’s thoroughly convinced potato chips were only invented as a vehicle to transport ketchup from a plate to a person’s mouth without making a mess. And now you can extract every precious drop of tomatoey goodness from a ketchup packet thanks to the Heinz Packet Roller keychain attachment. Fingers crossed it also works with Taco Bell Fire Sauce packets!
Operating like the similarly designed rollers for tubes of toothpaste, you just rip the end off a ketchup packet and roll it through the device, resting easy knowing you extracted every bit of ketchup possible. Waste not, want not – that’s my motto.
It’s the golden era of condiment packet extraction! These are truly exciting times we’re living in. Especially considering fast food restaurants regularly try to shortchange me in the packeted condiments department. At least I’ll know I made the most of what they did give me. Plus, now wait a minute, they forgot my nuggets!
Remember that scene in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory when Violet Beauregard chomps down on the 3-course dinner chewing gum? Well, this is kind of like that, though it’s not going to turn you blue when you get to dessert. Honestly, when I first saw that Brach’s had come out with Turkey Dinner, Apple Pie, and Coffee Candy Corn, I had to double-check that it wasn’t April 1st. But nope, It’s October 3rd, and this stuff is real.
Apparently, they also worked in the flavors of green beans, cranberry sauce, and stuffing. I’m assuming that each candy is a different flavor, and they didn’t manage to cram them all into a single piece of candy corn. I think that would result in the same sort of grey mush that you get when you mix all the paint colors together, only with flavors instead of colors.
I know lots of people hate candy corn, so I’m doubtful that changing them to taste like a complete Thanksgiving meal will change their minds. On the other hand, if candy corn is a guilty pleasure for you this time of year, then maybe you’ll want to try a bag of these. They’re available for $2.49 a bag from Walgreens. I wonder if these make you sleepy after you eat them too.
I like to think I’m pretty adept at Microsoft Excel. Whenever I show some neophyte how to use a Pivot Table, I feel like a spreadsheet god. Despite my skills at manipulating rows, columns, formulas, and macros, I don’t have all the Excel keyboard shortcuts memorized. I mean sure, I’m a master of Copy, Paste, and Undo, but after those, I don’t remember most of them. Now, every time I go to take a sip of hot coffee, I can brush up on my spreadsheet shortcut knowledge.
Firebox sells this Excel Shortcut Mug which lists a number of the available keyboard shortcut sequences for Excel, including classics like “Ctrl Shift +” and “Alt F1.” I had no idea that you could copy a value from the cell above with “Ctrl Shift Quote.” Heck, I’m already smarter and I haven’t even bought this thing yet. Next stop, creating complicated and abstruse financial models that make venture capitalists throw fat stacks of cash at me.
Like all ceramic computer reference materials, the Excel Shortcut Mug holds 12 oz. of your favorite hot or cold beverage and is dishwasher and microwave safe. You can grab one for your desk today over at Firebox for just $11.
Ramen is delicious. While I much prefer the taste of fresh-cooked noodles and meats at a Japanese restaurant, instant ramen will do in a pinch. Nissin Cup Noodles are a staple among college kids, bachelors, and lazy cooks everywhere. Now you can enjoy the taste of Cup Noodles without even boiling water or eating noodles for that matter.
To celebrate 50 years of Cup Noodles, Nissin is selling a collection of four carbonated beverages in ramen broth flavors Cup Noodle, Seafood, Curry, and Chili Tomato. I’m assuming I can’t drink the seafood soda because of my shellfish allergy. Also, it sounds disgusting. That said, I’m sure somebody out there thinks it sounds yummy.
If you’re feeling adventurous and have a friend in Japan who can order for you, they’re available as part of a special bundle over on Amazon Japan, where you can also find recipes for cocktails made with Cup Noodles sodas.
Thanks in large part to the genius designs of the late H.R. Giger, the Alien universe is filled with some of the creepiest creatures and environments in the history of science fiction. You wouldn’t want to encounter a xenomorph at any of its life stages, let alone have one staring you in the face on your dinner plate. But here we are, it’s 2021, and we have an Alien Cookbook.
Chris-Rachael Oseland (aka the Kitchen Overlord), who also wrote an unofficial Doctor Who cookbook and an unofficial Hobbit cookbook, has gone 100% legit with this officially licensed Alien Cookbook. The book is filled with 50 Alien-inspired recipes, each based on a phase of the creature’s lifecycle. Inside its pages, you’ll find ideas for tasty but gory egg dishes, like avocado and bacon stuffed deviled Alien tea eggs, disturbing party snacks like a Facehugger cheeseball with a pull-apart body, and a red pepper quiche with a sausage Chestburster. Finish your evening with Alien Queens made from eggplant, blackened chicken wings, or chocolate-coated bananas for dessert.
The Official Alien Cookbook is available from Amazon (affiliate link) for about $29. If you were looking for ideas for your Halloween dinner party, look no further.
Halloween is less than eight weeks away, so it’s never too early to get your costume figured out. If you’re ready to bust through some walls and scare your neighbors this year, I highly recommend this inflatable Kool-Aid Man costume. Put it on, and you’ll instantly become a 50-gallon pitcher full of high-energy, artificially colored, cherry-flavored drink!
The officially licensed costume inflates with the push of a button, and since it fills up with air instead of actual Kool-Aid, you’re unlikely to drown inside of this thing. It’s big enough for adults and has a place for you to look out of its nose, so you don’t bump into any walls except for the ones that you really meant to. Now I don’t recommend crashing into any brick walls because you’re likely to break something, but if you want to have some fun, styrofoam blocks or sheets of Foamcore are always an option.
The Kool-Aid Man Inflatable costume is available from Vat19 for $129.99 (USD). Buy two and have a Kool-Aid Man sumo wrestling match with your friend!
Bread was meant to be eaten, right? Well, what if your bread had four legs and was kind of adorable? Would you become gluten-free right then and there? I might think twice, but probably not. These wacky toys are based on the concept of “Living bread.” The design for the quadruped bread started as a collection of handmade wool-felted creations by Atelier Hatena.
Apparently, the idea was so popular that they decided to make a series of less expensive bread “Gashopon” – which are the kinds of cheap collectibles you might find in toy capsule vending machines in Japan. The plastic toy series includes toast, pretzel, croissant, dinner roll, French, and pineapple bread, and every single one of them looks good enough to spread butter and jam on right now. They’re going to be available this November for ¥300 each – that’s about $2.75 a piece. But I’m hungry right now! Fortunately for the living bread, I’m on a low-carb diet, or else these things would be toast.
Who doesn’t look at a watermelon and instantly think Venom? It’s hard not to, right? Well instead of just thinking it, Italian sculptor Valeriano Fatica went and made our collective thoughts reality, carving Venom’s head out of a watermelon. I’ll be honest though, that does not look like a tongue I’d want in my ear. Or teeth I’d want nibbling my ear. As a matter of fact just stay away from my ears, Venom.
Valeriano says he works predominately in fruit and vegetables but also dabbles in cheese, clay, and rock. Out of those carvings, I would only eat the first three. Still, who knew you could carve such an impressive bust out of a melon? The only thing I’ve ever done with a watermelon is accidentally swallow a seed and get scared a plant was growing inside my stomach, which my parents said was probably the case. And they wonder why I have trust issues.