Felt artist Lucy Sparrow went and constructed an entire McDonald’s restaurant out of felt, complete with a menu board, food items, a drink machine, seating, and wall art. Wow. Would I try to eat the fries? Of course, I’d try to eat the fries; I am a terrible decision-maker, aren’t I?
The McHappiness store was recently on display at the SCOPE Art Show in Miami Beach, Florida, and undoubtedly brought much McHappiness to everyone who got to see it. I only wonder if Lucy’s ice cream machine was out-of-order or not. The last time the ice cream machine at my local McDonald’s wasn’t out-of-order? Late 2018, and I go regularly.
I wonder just how many hours Lucy worked on crafting the store because I imagine it was quite a few. I mean Rome wasn’t built in a day, and this is way crazier than Rome. I mean, at least in my opinion. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a change.org petition to start to make the McRib a permanent menu item.
Designed and built by computer hardware manufacturer Cooler Master, the Orb X is an immersive gaming pod designed with luxury and comfort in mind. It kind of reminds me of Darth Vader’s meditation chamber, but with less wondering what the heck he does in there for hours at a time.
The Orb X can accommodate up to three 27″ monitors for maximum peripheral viewing and includes built-in power, audio, and lighting systems, as well as a traditional desk surface. It features a premium leather “ergonomic recliner” with fully adjustable head and lumbar support. But does it have seat cooling capabilities? Because I get sweaty when I’m gaming.
The pod’s dome lowers over the user’s head once they’re in place, so you know that they mean business. If the dome is down, do not disturb — that’s going to be my motto. And the dome is never not going to be down, just to be clear. I’m going to live in this thing; all it needs now is a mini-fridge and microwave.
Because nothing quite says Merry Christmas like meat-flavored candy canes (wait, that can’t be right), Archie McPhee has added yet another unusual flavor to its line of unusual candy canes, this time with brisket-flavored sugar sticks. Yum! And by ‘Yum!’ I mean ‘Yum?’
A box of six canes will set you back $6.95. Not into brisket? No worries, Archie McPhee also sells hot dog and pizza-flavored candy canes for those looking for a less traditional holiday meal this year. My typical Christmas Eve meal? The cookies we were supposed to be leaving out for Santa. To my credit, though, I do leave the carrots for his reindeer untouched.
Whatever the flavor, I’m just going to sharpen the end into a point to poke my brother in the leg under the dinner table. It’s a Christmas Eve tradition. Then we get in a huge fight, and there aren’t any presents underneath the tree from Santa the next morning, the end.
Does a traditional Christmas tree just not fit in with your design motif? Already have everything exactly where you want it and simply can’t spare any room for some bulky Christmas spirit? Well, the brand Aqestyerly has you (and your wall) covered with this minimalist wall-hanging Christmas tree (affiliate link). Cool, but where do all the presents go?
The tree measures approximately 40″ x 44″ when closely assembled and includes some fake greenery to attach to the wall, along with ornaments to hang from the branches. I imagine some busy business executive who just doesn’t have time for Christmas finding this hung in his modern penthouse apartment by his decorator while he sips fine scotch and bah-humbugs his way through the holidays.
Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer a real Christmas tree. The bigger, the better too, that way there’s maximum room underneath for presents. Granted, I was absolutely terrible this year, and Santa shouldn’t deliver me anything but a stockingful of coal to the side of the head, but a boy can dream. Mostly about Santa confusing my house with somebody who isn’t on his naughty list.
Because things stopped making sense a long time ago, Microsoft is selling official Xbox Mini Controller Hoodies, so your gaming controllers don’t get cold when they’re not in your sweaty palms. They’re making them in black and white, but the first pre-order already sold out, so clearly, people want these. Why people want them is what I really want to know.
So decorative hoodies for your Xbox controllers are a real product that exists now. Did we need them? Of course not. Am I jealous Sony isn’t selling these for Playstation controllers? With all my heart. Get it together, Sony; my controllers are gonna catch a cold!
It’s only a matter of time before there are entire clothing lines for gaming controllers: novelty t-shirts, hats, flip-flops — you name it. Can you sew? Because we need to start an Etsy store pronto to cash in on this craze. People are crazy, and we have to monopolize. I’ll start sketching some controller fatigues for all the Call Of Duty players. We’re gonna be rich!
Continuing on the realistic human body parts theme from yesterday’s toenail eyeballs come these realistic thumb thumbtacks, made and sold by Etsy store ThisisMichiesshop. A set of four tacks will set you back $17 and are going to make the perfect addition to my corkboard. Now, if I could just rehang my corkboard with some toe-nails, the theme would be complete.
Obviously, these are the perfect thumbtacks for two bumbling detectives in some television dramedy to use as they try to track down a serial killer. The show practically writes itself. Especially if you use AI, then it really does write itself. As a matter of fact, AI is writing this article right now and may have just become self-aware.
Thankfully, the thumbtacks are sculpted from polymer clay and not actual thumbs. Although it probably wouldn’t hurt to tail Michie and make sure she isn’t making any late-night trips to the graveyard just to be sure. They look awfully real to me.
Because this is the internet and the internet is full of unholy abominations, nail artist Tahvya of Nailedbytav created this realistic eyeball toenail art. I don’t know about you, but that’s probably the last thing I’d want to see when taking my wife’s socks off. Although, knowing her, she’ll probably get them anyways just to scare me. And that will be the last time I ever take off her socks when she asks.
Tav painted each nail by hand and says the whole ten-toeball pedicure took about three hours. I only hope a telemarketer called during that time, and Tav told them she can’t talk now; she’s painting eyeballs on toenails. Because in my mind, that happened, and it was glorious.
So was this part of an elaborate Halloween costume or what? I hope so, but it looks like Tav posted the toe eyeballs in May, so I don’t think that’s the case. And I don’t know about you, but the thought of somebody walking around in sandals with toeballs in May instead of October gives me the heebie-jeebies.
Developed and built by Etsy shop BionicConcepts, this biomechanical metal spine armor features everything you’d look for in new spine armor, like cool looks and light-up effects. The cyberpunk-style spine is constructed from aluminum and will be worn daily by yours truly. I just need to cut a huge hole out of the back of my sofa first so I can relax comfortably.
Available in raw aluminum and black finishes, the cyborg spines start at around $710 for a silver (raw metal) model with a single color light, up to $910 for one with a black finish and RGB lighting. I’m probably going to compromise and get the silver with RGB lighting for $837, with a special request to mark the box it comes in ‘NOT ANOTHER CYBORG SPINE HONEY, I SWEAR.’
Don’t have the money to buy one of these spines? Head to the junkyard and get the parts to construct your own. Just make sure you’re up to date on your tetanus shot first. Also, maybe not trying to visit the junkyard after regular business hours under the cover of darkness because I was definitely shot at.
Constructed and customized to order by Etsy shop DragonTempl8, this elaborate role-playing table is the ultimate in tabletop gaming. I mean, just look at this thing. Featuring workstations with card and dice compartments for 8 players (7 + dungeon master), the table also includes RGB LED lighting to set the mood (with a setting for standard day/night light), as well as A SMOKE MACHINE to intensify the atmosphere and a 22″ flatscreen in the center! It instantly moved to the #1 spot on my Christmas list this year.
The table starts at around $8,700 and goes up from there, depending on customization. It measures 160cm x 160cm (62″ x 62″) with a 200cm (78″) height and is going to be the focal point of my home from now on. I’m not going to lie; at first glance, I did think it was the control console inside a TARDIS, which makes me want it even more.
Now all I’m missing is a group of friends that actually want to play role-playing games with me, and I’ll be all set. I’ve tried playing alone, and it’s… difficult. And don’t even get me started on trying to get the cats to play – they just steal the dice! It’s like they get way too into their rogue elf characters.
Owls: they’re the rulers of the forest night. Hooting and swooping down on their unsuspecting prey under the cover of darkness, eating rodents in their entirety. And now you can have a pair on your hands, thank to these knitted Owl Mittens (affiliate link). Thankfully, the owl mittens only feature the likenesses of owls but aren’t made from actual birds. That’s a relief, especially if you have owl relatives.
Available in five different mitten colors, each glove has a realistic snow owl on the back of the hand. Unfortunately, they’re only available in one standard women’s size, though, so I probably won’t be able to squeeze my big bear paws into them. Which is a shame because I love owls and warm hands.
I just bought a pair for my wife so I can live vicariously through her. Plus, with owl mittens, if you ever lose one, at least it’ll be easy to describe. IT HAS AN OWL ON IT. Looks real, but don’t be afraid though – it’s just a mitten.