Chewbacca ‘Pillow Pet’ Is The Stuff of Nightmares

Created in the likeness of everyone’s favorite Wookiee, the Chewbacca Pillow Pet Jumboz Plush (affiliate link) is the perfect companion for a young child that you never want to sleep again. I think it’s the vacant, dead eyes that really do it for me. They should have at least put teddy bear eyes in those sockets. Shoot, anything but those pitch-black, soul-stealing caverns.

The pillow measures approximately 14″ x 14″ x 14″ and unfastens to reveal the 30″ x 30″ stuffed Chewbacca mat/rug you’ve always dreamed of. In pillow form, though he looks like a cross between a Shih Tzu and a Wookiee, with the face of a snub-nosed monkey. My goodness, that face. Did I mention the eyes? I’ll be sleeping with a night light on tonight for sure, I don’t care if my wife makes fun of me.

Admittedly, I just bought one. But I am going to hot glue googly eyes on Chewie the moment he arrives? Yes, and if those googly eyes ever happen to come off and I see him without them, well, let’s just say it won’t be the first time I’ve ever smelled burning Wookiee fur (campfire accident on Kashyyyk – should have listened to Smokey).

[via DudeIWantThat]

Live Feed Bird Feeder Lets Your Cats Stream Birds Outside Your Window

Designed to resemble a live-streamed YouTube video, the $30 Live Feed Bird Feeder from Fred sticks to a window via suction cups and provides an analog display of the birds outside. Of course, if you prefer a digital display you can always set up a webcam, close the blinds, and watch from your computer, you technological recluse, you.

Perfect for the birdwatcher in this digital age, the Live Feed provides a frame for watching the wildlife that we’re all comfortable and familiar with: that of a YouTube video. I wonder just how many hours of my life I’ve already spent watching YouTube videos. And how many of my future life hours I’ll continue to spend watching YouTube videos. My guess is close to all of them.

Ha, I only just now realized the double meaning of ‘Live Feed’ in the product name! Admittedly, I’m a bit slow sometimes. Okay, all the time. You know I was actually supposed to compete in that famous Tortoise and the Hare race but showed up a day late and two dollars short of my entry fee.

SPAM Yahtzee: Perfect For Playing With Your Food

I know what you’re thinking, and I couldn’t agree more – how has it taken so long for someone to make a SPAM-themed dice game? Well, in better late than never news, The OP has just released $17 Yahtzee SPAM, a spiced ham-inspired version of the classic dice-rolling game. And just when you thought playing Yahtzee couldn’t be more appetizing!

The game’s dice include images of popular SPAM cuisine, including SPAM musubi, SPAM sushi rolls, SPAM ramen, SPAM kabobs, SPAM fries, and a classic grilled cheese & SPAM, along with the classic numbers. Is anybody else’s mouth-watering? I think my dentist must have given me too much Novocaine because SPAM-themed Yahtzee just isn’t doing it for me.

So, yeah, it’s Yahtzee with pictures of SPAM dishes on the dice. I’m not sure what else to tell you, except if you aren’t shaking the dice around in your mouth before a roll, you aren’t trying hard enough to get kicked out of game night. “We’re in the middle of a pandemic! Good lord — and even if we weren’t!” I imagine my hosts yelling at me before asking me to leave and never come back.

[via Thrillist]

Darth Vader Bath Fizzers: Bathing in the Dark Side

Because who hasn’t ever dreamed of taking a nice relaxing bath with Sith Lord Darth Vader himself, Mad Beauty has created these officially licensed Star Wars Darth Vader Bath Fizzers. Wow, Darth Vader and bath fizzers – those are four words I never thought I’d hear together. There really is a first time for everything.

Available from FireBox, a six-pack of Vader Bath Fizzers (I feel weird every time I type it) will set you back $14. For those of you good at math, that’s $2.33 per fizzer. For those of you bad at math, I will take your SATs for you, but it’s going to cost you some serious Galactic Credits.

Each fizzer is shaped like Vader’s iconic helmet and turns your bath water jet black, releasing “a sweet amber and ginseng fragrance” in the process. Granted, that’s not what I’d make a Darth Vader bath fizzer smell like, but I admit it would be hard to really capture the subtle nuances of Alderaan following its annihilation via Death Star superlaser.

The LOAFA: A Sofa That Looks Like It’s Made Out of Bread

Clearly designed with deliciousness in mind, the LOAFA is the brainchild of rapper TOMM¥ €A$H in collaboration with artist Gab Bois and, allegedly, IKEA. Tommy recently took to Instagram to claim that IKEA told him if his post reached 10,000 comments, they’d make a limited run of the LOAFA. The post blew through that goal, so will we actually see the LOAFA reach production? Well, I didn’t just buy 80 pounds of butter and the world’s largest toaster, hoping it doesn’t.

I assume the production model would be constructed of cushions printed with a realistic bread finish. Or, who knows, maybe they’ll make them out of actual bread. I mean, who doesn’t want a rat problem? Still, I think we can agree it would make the perfect sofa for loafing around on a lazy weekend afternoon. It would also make the perfect sofa for trying to eat when you want a snack but don’t feel like getting up. We’ve all been there. Shoot, I live there.

But does it smell like bread? And where’s the deli meat ottoman and cheese wedge coffee table? Because if we’re going in with a bread sofa, I want to go ALL IN with a complete sandwich-themed living room set. Fingers crossed, they start giving them away as prizes on The Price Is Right!

[via Hypebeast]

Insert Turns Car Cupholder Into Fry Holder

Eating fries in the car: it’s a daily occurrence for some of us. And, if I’m being completely honest, a bi- or even tri-daily occurrence for me. But enough about my doctor always frowning when he looks at my lab results, the Car French Fry Holder (affiliate link) solves a longtime problem: where to rest your fries while trying to eat them and drive.

The Amazon product title calls the fry holder a “funny novelty white elephant gift,” but this is far from funny or a novelty to me – this is exactly what I’ve been waiting for. Gone are the days of dropping precious fries on the floor, trying to fish them out of the bag in the passenger side footwell, or risking grease on my pants, holding them between my legs. This truly is the golden age of mobile fry consumption.

Now they just need to add a ketchup bowl clip-on accessory, and you’ve got the total package. I mean, provided the total package is an embarrassing sight for a first date when you pick them up, especially if you have the fry holder in active use with a carton of days-old fries. Just please, whatever you do, don’t point at it and ask if you can interest them in an appetizer.

[via DudeIWantThat]

Finally, Researchers Teach Goldfish How to Drive a Car and Avoid Obstacles

In long-awaited news, Israeli researchers at Ben-Gurion University have successfully taught goldfish how to steer a vehicle in order to reach a target and receive a treat, using a specially designed FOV (fish-operated vehicle). The future, ladies, and gentlemen – we’re finally here.

The FOV is outfitted with a LiDAR (light detection and ranging) system that uses lasers to determine the fish’s location inside the tank, and the vehicle’s location on land, with the vehicle moving in the direction in which the fish swims. The researchers say that after just a few days of training, fish were able to consistently navigate the vehicle to the target, regardless of starting point and obstacles such as walls, or the presence of false targets. You know, maybe we haven’t been giving goldfish the intellectual credit they deserve.

Obviously, the goldfish’s real target is the nearest pond, and there’s no doubt in my mind once it finally gets its driver’s license that’s exactly where it’ll be headed. If only it’d been riding shotgun the time I accidentally drove into that pond I could have saved it the trouble of taking an in-car driving test!

[via The Washington Post]

The Malicious Bar Stool, A Stool Inspired By Middle Age ‘Iron Chair’ Torture

What do you get for the castle owner who already has everything? How about a bar stool inspired by the iron chair torture devices used in the middle ages? You might not want to be around when they open it, though, or they may demand a demonstration – or threaten to throw you in the dungeon if you disagree. Castle owners are always so demanding.

Created by Merve Kahraman, the $3,700 Malicious Bar Stool is topped with 41 CNC-cut rounded aluminum studs finished in gold, which actually withdraw into the leather seat cushion when pressure (read: your butt) is applied. According to Kahraman, this creates “a very pleasantly surprising sensation.” I’m…not sure I want to be the judge of that.

Obviously, you should buy two of the barstools and modify one, so the studs don’t retreat into the cushion. Then have a friend get comfortable sitting on the unmodified version and swap them out when they’re in the restroom. The look on their face when they sit on those spikes! I mean, I can’t think of any better way to spend $7,400.

[via DudeIWantThat]

BAGO Glovebox Clip Keeps Bags Standing Upright While Driving

Filed under products I didn’t know I needed but am now questioning how I ever lived without, the BAGO keeps bags standing upright in your car while driving to help prevent spills or damage to their contents. The product consists of a plastic anchor that can be closed in your car’s glovebox and a seatbelt-like strap with a metal spring clamp at the end that can be attached to bags sitting in the passenger side footwell to keep them standing upright. What a time to be alive!

Currently an already-funded Kickstarter project and now on Indiegogo, $22 will get you a BAGO when they’re shipped around May. Will you be purchasing one? Or will you continue to put your groceries in the trunk like a caveperson? Get with the times! Alternatively, you can accidentally leave a grocery bag on the roof of your car, as I did a few weeks ago, and spill everything as you’re backing out of the parking spot. I’ve never seen bananas so bruised before.

And to think, just 30 years ago, human passengers didn’t even have to wear seatbelts. Now even our shopping bags are wearing them! And while this certainly is a problem solver if you’re traveling with an open can of paint or nuclear material, what I really need is something that prevents me from locking my keys in the car because I’m really not sure how I’m getting home from work today.

A $3,400 Leather Rat Bag: For The Rat Catcher Who Has Everything

Because these truly are the end times we’re living in, New York City-based fashion designer Thom Browne has created the Rat Pebbled Bag, a leather bag in the form of a rat. Available from Farfetch for the equally farfetched price of $3,390, the bag begs the question – is this considered haute couture or raute couture?

If the model is any indication, you’ll also need a kilt, dress shirt and tie, lace-up boot-shoes, and an overcoat to complete the rat bag ensemble. I can already close my eyes and imagine myself wearing it all – my friends and family whispering to one another that I’ve finally gone off the deep end.

When reached for comment about the bag, Master Splinter told me he felt it was in poor taste. Granted, he’s been wearing the same tattered kimono for his entire mutant life and lives in the sewers with a bunch of turtle vigilantes, but I trust his judgment.