Face it: Even if J.K. Rowling starts writing about the boring middle-aged problems of Harry Potter, she’ll rake in billions before the movies come out starring a physically transformed Daniel Radcliffe.

If that day ever happens, here are some excellent ideas for what kind of depressing stories about Potter’s later years she should write about.

The One That’s Worried About Dying

The What If Version

The Creepy Stalking Version

The Tale About Growing Old & Ugly

The Financially Depressing One

More Financial Problems For the Wizard

And the One With Problems in Bed

Hat Tip: Imgur and EliteDaily

For more on the never ending universe of Harry Potter, check out these excellent Christmas Decorations for you magical ones and also some muggles.