This is a pair of Sriracha Rooster Sauce themed heels. They’re called Rock Out Stilettos. I guess so you can rock out with your figurative cock (as in rooster) out. Because if there’s one thing these shoes are, it’s CLASSY. You can buy a pair of your own for just $190 over at Hourglass Footwear. Huh? Okay, I know the hourglass figure is desirable female form, but hourglass feet? What is that? Like vuluptious toes, a trim, skinny little arch, and lucious heel? Because that actually sounds kiiiinda smexy. I mean, if you’re a sick foot pervert! Everyone with any kind of decency knows that an elbow fetish is where it’s at. You can tell so much about a potential lover by the ash-to-loose-skin ratio of their ‘bows. Ooh, and the pointier, the better. Yow yow!
Tag Archives: Sriracha
Tastes Like Burning: Sriracha Lip Balm
If you want your lips to always burn with the tasty flavor of Sriracha, you could either carry a bottle with you everywhere and chug it, or you could use this lip balm. Another awesome Sriracha product from J&D’s and The Oatmeal, Sriracha Rooster Sauce Lip Balm will make you feel smoking hot all day long. Surprisingly it doesn’t actually burn your lips—in fact it’s SPF 15 so it will protect your lips from sunburn. That’s irony. At least I think it it’s irony… but what the hell do I know? I learned about irony from Alanis Morissette in the 90′s. Apparently rain on your wedding day isn’t ironic—it just sucks.
