Pet Sweep Helps Your Dog Do The Cleaning

This is the Pet Sweep. It’s four mops that attach to Fido’s paws so when he’s scampering around the house he can also clean up that layer of fur he’s actively shedding. Except NO! We’ve been duped. This is actually just a dumb gift box by Prank Pack. They thought boxing a gift in the Pet Sweep packaging would convince a person they were actually receiving a Pet Sweep. Cool guys, really clever. You know, I was really excited about the Pet Sweep, so your plan backfired. BIG TIME. Now I’m pissed and I’m gonna take you to court. And when I say take you to court, obviously I mean I’m gonna threaten to take you to court, decide to start the legal process later, take a nap, and then totally forget that any of this happened. I hope you’re happy!

NSFW Holiday Party: Raunchy Wrapping Paper

Besides how incredibly challenging wrapping gifts can be for some, what’s the other major complaint about the gift-giving season? Spending all of that cash on wrapping paper that will only get tossed in the trash. Well, there’s a solution to that…and it’s naughty. Nobody in their dirty little mind would throw out Raunchy Wrapping Paper. It’s the gift that keeps on giving! The double-sided wrapping paper is nice and normal on the outside, but filled with naughty, half-naked images on the inside. There are male and female options, and it comes in the form of one super-sized, super hot sheet.

Let’s Give Grandma A Beard!

The Wooly Willy kept me entertained for hours…and that was just last week. Imagine how busy I was making weird brows and beards on that guy when I was a kid! With this Fuzzy Face Magnetic Picture Frame, you get to put hilarious facial hair on your family and friends. Borrowing the concept from bald Willy, it will fit a 4×6 photo of your favorite (or least favorite, to make it even more interesting) people.  Unlike the original, a special magnetic lock holds everything just the way you left it until you decide to dress up Aunt Patty’s face again. The clever plastic frame includes a built in stand and wand that allows it to be used in either landscape or portrait mode.

Jane Austen Bandages: Because Reading Is Dangerous

Dear readers, spending night after night at home on the manor, re-reading your favorite romantic fiction can be quite dangerous. I mean, paper cuts? Burning your arm on the kettle? Dealing with abuse from that crazy woman in the attic? Ouch. You better be prepared. These Jane Austen Bandages pay homage to the beloved English novelist and feature one of 2 images of her, or one of 7 quotes from her best works. If the alluring image and prose of Jane Austen doesn’t distract you from your pain, I don’t know what will.

All You Need Is A Handful Of Milk

Thanks to the Handful Boobie Creamer you can enjoy some “fresh squeezed” milk or cream in your morning cup of coffee or bowl of cereal. Let’s not be immature about this—at one point in your life you used to drink milk from boobies all the time. Hehe, I said boobies. Okay, on second thought let’s be immature about it. Because even the most mature among us have to admit that milk squirting out of a fake boob is kinda funny. No? I’m not a good judge of that stuff because I still laugh every time I see a watch children sign. Ha! Why they tellin’ people to be pedophiles?!