It’s that special month again, ladies and gentlemen. It’s the month that brings joy to all of those who are able to grow facial hair (and jungles under their pits for the children to play in.) You *who are of at least average intelligence* guessed it! No Shave November, which is informally known as Noshember, and incorrectly known as feminine.

The Man’s Face Stuff Mustache Wax is something that all of us males (and bearded women) should be thinking about purchasing, as it provides a couple of important benefits.

The first of the aforementioned important benefits is what I like to call “shaping.” One does not simply have their mustache situated in any which way, one must shape their mustache to their liking. You can go with the Biker, the Confucius, or really any other design that fits your manliness.

The second of the aforementioned benefits is a delicious smell that will surely lure in women like peanut butter lures a golden retriever. They’ve got Gin and Tonic, Red Hot Cinnamon, All Nighter (whatever that means), and more!

If you want to go and pick yourself up some No Shave Movember man-wax like a real man, then jump on over to the generally unmanly Etsy – they’re only $9 a pop. If not, then you’ll probably want to check out the Welder K24 Manly Watch and this un-Godly combination of Bane and Batman, which, surprisingly, is also on Etsy. I like where this site is going, friends, since I already wasted too much money on quilted pillows. “What?” Nothing.

Jack Kieffer owns Cool Gizmo Toys, a site where geeks go to do awesome things and then pass out on my fancy futons.

[via Uncrate]