Robot Dog Equipped with Rocket Launcher: This Will End Badly

We’ve already seen a quadruped robotic dog equipped with a submachine gun, so obviously, it was the next logical step towards humanity’s demise to strap a rocket launcher to one. Spotted at a recent military convention, You can purchase a robotic dog like this for about $2,700, but the ninja costume and rocket launcher, you’ll have to find yourself. I know people – nobody with rocket launchers for sale, though, and that’s okay with me.

It’s all fun and wargames until the robot dog thinks it sees a cat and quickly turns around before firing. That’s why I don’t trust robots. Plus, robots were made by people, and I don’t trust people. Who are you? Who sent you here?!

I’m not going to lie; the future is looking pretty bleak. I mean, we already have robotic dogs with explosive launchers strapped to them; what’s next? And more importantly, how can we put a stop to it before it dooms us all? And don’t say a letter-writing campaign… those things never work, or the McRib would be available year-round.

[via TechEBlog]

Monopoly Longest Game Ever Edition Sounds Like A Nightmare

This is the Amazon exclusive Monopoly Longest Game Ever Edition (affiliate link). The game doesn’t end for anyone when they go bankrupt; oh no, the game only ends when a single player owns every single property on the board – of which there are three times more than in a regular game. I can already feel my blood boiling and me flipping the board in rage.

Did I mention there’s only one die to roll, so there’s no more rolling doubles, and you’re stuck crawling around the board at a snail’s pace? I kid you not; my right eye started twitching when I read that it made me so angry. I think I’m going to be sick.

No word how long a game is actually expected to last, but I imagine about half the time it takes a plastic bag to fully decompose in a landfill. And as if regular Monopoly wasn’t already bad enough at ruining game nights for decades, they should just call this edition what it really is: Monopoly Ultimate Destroyer of Families and Friendships Edition.

[via This Is Why I’m Broke]

Yep, They’re Working on a Space Invaders Movie

As far as I know, the entire plot of Space Invaders is “increase speed, drop down, and reverse direction!” But making vapid and obtuse movies based on popular franchises is what Hollywood does best these days, so I guess I wasn’t too surprised when I heard there’s a Space Invaders movie in development.

According to a report from Deadline, New Line is getting closer to starting production on said film, based on the 1978 Taito arcade game. Greg Russo (Mortal Kombat) is said to be writing the film, while Akiva Goldsman (Fringe, Star Trek: Discovery), Joby Harold (John Wick 3), and Tory Tunnell (Robin Hood) are responsible for producing this future trainwreck. I haven’t been this concerned about pixels being on the big screen since, well, um, Pixels.

Seriously, Hollywood folks, what particular strain of sativa are you smoking these days? I suppose these 8-bit characters have just as much potential as any of the other one-dimensional crap we see on screen these days, but I’m not optimistic.

[via io9]