Join the Meat Parade!

Didja know October is Eat Country Ham Month? Me neither. But clearly such an important holiday deserves a theme song. Enter Meat Parade, a retro-style novelty record that cheerfully declares “With bacon, knockwurst, ham or lamb – you’ll never beat that meat!”

Naturally, the limited-edition 45 RPM record been pressed on colored vinyl that’s meant to look like a yummo ham steak.

Side one has the single Meat March, while the B-side features the bluesy single Slab O’ Meat. So what are you waiting for? Join the Meat Parade at Archie McPhee today!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Pizza Maker

Nearly everyone has something in common with Nickelodeon’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: a passion for pizza. Why not express that thin-crust love with “the World’s Most Awesome Pizza Machine,” a simple non-stick appliance to cook frozen or fresh pizzas and quesadillas. It’s a handy addition to the man cave when the kitchen seems too far.

It easily bakes up to a 12″ frozen pizza or an 11″ hand-tossed pizza, and features a non-stick interior. Since it required no pre-heating, it’s gonna cook up your pizza faster than a regular oven.

If you’re craving a slice of pepperoni pizza tonight, you can grab one from Amazon for about $34.

Pechanga Casino Resort Bets on Security Robot

Hitmakers headline the new concert stage every week at SoCal’s popular Pechanga Resort Casino in Temecula wine country. But the five-star getaway’s real star is Buddy, the first autonomous security robot in the country to patrol a casino. The 5 1/2 -foot tall, 400-pound ‘bot joined the 300-person security staff to help protect the resort’s $300 million expansion.

Buddy quietly roams Pechanga’s huge lobby areas to keep watch and provide a friendly security presence, posing for selfies and briefly chatting with guests when engaged.

Built by Knightscope  in Mountain View, California, Buddy is a K5 model. It’s programmed to send live images of what it sees to a central security command post, where security pros can either direct the mobile robot to move closer to a suspicious person or object, or stealthily zoom in with a high-definition camera. Buddy also continuously captures and sends 360-degree, high-definition night and day video of its surroundings, can auto detect license plates and people, and utilizes thermal imaging to gauge fire risks.

What’s next for R2D2-like hotel cybercrime-busters? Pechanga’s VP of public safety, Robert Krauss, hopes for an additional robot security guard to deter after-hours hooligans from breaking into The Cove, Pechanga’s splashy new pool complex.

 

The Hangrees Poop Culture Figures Are the Wacky Packages of Poop

The Hangrees are a joyfully tasteless series of slime collectible, plop culture parody figures that are hungry for punny, satirical snacks. Just feed ‘em, shake ‘em, and excrete ‘em for slimy, poop-tastic results. Once the dookie has dropped, the slime can be stored in a resealable container for reuse.

Nine characters in Series 1 made their debut August 2, 2019: Harry Plopper, Ninja Turdle, Chewcaca, Fartnite, 5 Nights of Farts, WWPee Wrestler, Cacacraft, and Roplops, plus a rare “chrome” character. They’re available for $10 each from Walmart or Amazon.